


Pilot Lights

by Digitallywriting



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Billy Hargrove Needs Love, Billy Hargrove Needs a Hug, Bisexual Steve Harrington, Child Abuse, Derogatory Language, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Everyone Needs A Hug, Flashbacks, Fluff and Angst, Gay Billy Hargrove, Gay Will Byers, Good Babysitter Steve Harrington, Hurt/Comfort, I say it's slow but I'm impatient, M/M, No Season 3, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Season/Series 02, Soulmates, Substance Abuse, slowish burn, so it might happen quicker
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-29
Updated: 2019-09-13
Packaged: 2020-07-25 19:56:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 30,941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20031463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Digitallywriting/pseuds/Digitallywriting
Summary: '"Beg for it," Billy said, his voice strangely low, his blue eyes a slightly darker shade, the colour of the pilot light flickering above the bunsen burner.'Billy hates Steve. Steve hates Billy. But when they are forced to work together to fight a new evil, the pair discover that there's more to each other than meets the eye.





	1. Chapter one

15th January 1985

It had been three months since Max had threatened Billy's life in the living room of the Byers house, but the weight of that night still hung over the two of them like a bad smell. Billy was not the kind of boy to shy away from a fight of any sort, and yet here he was, avoiding his step-sister like the plague. When she was in the living room, he was in the dining room. When she was on the landing, he was leaning against his bedroom door trying not to piss himself. The only time he was around her was during family meals and when Neil made him drive her around. And even then he would pretend she wasn't there, although that wasn't much different to how it used to be. Life really wasn't that different for Billy. Still smoking, still drinking, still angry. School was more of the same bullshit; if he wasn't bunking off entirely, he was sitting under the bleachers smoking with Tommy H and the other lackeys. Today wasn't any different.

Tommy H sauntered over to him the moment he stepped out of the Camaro. Billy rolled his eyes and slammed the door shut. He hated Tommy H for all he was worth, which wasn't much in Billy's eyes. Tommy was just a means to an end. A way to climb the school hierarchy ladder until he surpassed Harrington. He had planned to ditch Tommy and the followers once he reached the top, but he so enjoyed fucking around with them.

"Hey Hargrove," Tommy said, flicking a cigarette his way. Billy caught it deftly between two fingers and stuck it between his lips.

"What do you want?" Billy refused to address the boy by name. That would lead him to think that they were equals, when in fact Billy thought more of a dung beetle or the gum on the bottom of his shoe. It was surnames or no names, and no one knew what the H stood for.

"D'you have fun with Kristy last night?" He asked, lighting his own cigarette.

Ah yes, Kristy Callahan, the girl Tommy had paraded over to Billy after school yesterday. He had promised her wonders beyond her own imagination, and as soon as Tommy left, he gave her five dollars and told her to tell everyone she had the best night of her life. Needless to say, she wasn't happy. Billy didn't care.

"She was a stiff," Billy said simply, pushing off of the car and starting his walk towards school. Tommy ran to catch up with him, struggling to match his long strides. Billy took one long drag of his cigarette before dropping it on the threshold of the school.

"She's telling everyone you choked her. That true?"

Billy cocked an eyebrow. Kristy was kinky.

"If that's what she says," Billy shrugged. Tommy whacked Bily on the arm in what was probably supposed to be a symbol of camaraderie. Instead, Billy shot him a warning glare and shrugged him away. Billy made his way to first-period math when Tommy shouted back at him. He made a point of seething and balling his hands into fists before turning around to glare at him.

"You really going to lesson?" He shouted. The small group of Tommy's rebellious friends clustered behind him, as if they weren't allowed to step next to him in order to keep Tommy's dominance asserted. Or maybe they were afraid of Billy. Billy didn't care.

"Yeah. Gotta keep the attendance up or daddy gets mad," he pouted and stuck his finger up at them as he walked into the class. He might as well not have shown up, as the moment he stepped into class, he was given a tardie and detention.

***

After the stunt his bitch of a math teacher pulled, Billy decided it wasn't worth it to go to any of his other classes. He rejoined Tommy and the group, much to their enjoyment, and smoked an entire pack before lunch. As the bell for the end of fourth rang, the group dispersed to meet with their not-so-rebellious friends who had gone to class. Billy stood up and brushed the dirt and grass off his jeans.

"Where you goin'?" Tommy asked. He had decided to keep him company, to Billy's chagrin.

"To piss."

"I'll join you."

Billy whirled around and pulled Tommy off the ground by the front of his top. He yelped a little at the sudden animosity.

"Are you shitting me? Leave me alone. I don't want you, I don't even like you. So do me a favour and fuck. off." Billy shoved him away and watched as he tried to regain a little bit of his dignity. Billy rolled his eyes: Tommy's dignity would be just fucking fine. He'd get over himself, maybe spread some rumours about Billy… If he had the balls. Billy stalked off to the toilets, and when he came back Tommy was no longer there. Good fucking riddance.

Then he stopped in his tracks. Tommy had been replaced by Steve fucking Harrington. Billy was about to do a one-eighty and walk in the opposite direction when he saw Steve drop his head in his hands. His shoulders heaved up and down quickly, the sign of someone struggling to take in breaths in between sobs. What could Harrington have to cry about? Wasn't he living the perfect life with his rich parents in that big house? He had friends, he could get girls to fall at his feet with the snap of his fingers. Well, maybe not so much anymore. Not since Billy wriggled his way to the top of the ladder, leaving Steve barely hanging on below him. Billy knew that with one good kick, he could send Steve Harrington flying back down to the ground. Now, in his vulnerable state, seemed as good a time as any to give Harrington a wake-up call.

Billy made his way over to where Harrington was sitting and gave him a swift hit on the back. He shot up and rubbed his eyes hard with the balls of his palms. It did nothing for him, though, as when he turned to look at Billy, his eyes were red and puffy.

"Aw, what's wrong Harrington? Did mummy stop your allowance?" Billy said, feigning care. Steve groaned and turned back away from Billy.

"Fuck you," he murmured. Billy leaned in closer, Harrington's hair tickling his cheek. He ignored it.

"What was that? Speak up, boy." When Steve continued to ignore him, he gave him another shove, this time his side. it was hard enough that Steve fell into the sharp ridge of the bench above him. He cursed and reached his hand around to grip his arm. Billy stood back, satisfied.

"What the fuck is your problem, Hargrove?" Steve asked, absolutely no bite to his voice. Ah yes, the demeaning use of the surname. Billy would like to think that he taught him to do that. At least it told Billy that they were on the same page in terms of how much they hated each other. He'd hate to think that Steve actually cared.

"I see a pretty boy crying, I just have to see if there's anything I can do to make them feel worse." Billy leant in again to speak low into Steve's ear.

"I'm hoping that maybe, I can push you right to the very edge. Perhaps you're already on the edge. In that case, I'll just shove you off." He taunted and waited for the retaliation. That never came. Steve gave Billy a look of complete and utter defeat and just… turned away from him. He said nothing. It was as if Billy no longer existed to Steve. It felt strange, to be ignored by someone who would usually jump at the chance to slag him off to his face. Something deep within Billy burst and a little prick of light shone through the darkness of his heart. He could only remember that hole opening up once. He knew exactly what it meant, and exactly what to do. Shove it so far down it couldn't possibly claw it's way up to the surface. Squash the light. He did it once, he would do it again. No matter what.

***

17th June 1975

California was particularly hot that day. So much so that everyone and their mother had decided to take a trip to the beach. Billy, his mother, and his father all drove down to the seafront to spend the day. Billy had been forbidden to take his surfboard, as last time he was too late home. His mother had gotten the brunt of the argument that ensued between the three of them. Billy gladly took the blame, but he couldn't ignore the noises he heard from the living room below his bedroom as he tried to sleep.

His dad forked the large parasol into the soft sand while his mother unfolded the chairs. Billy bounced excitedly on the balls of his feet, eager to get into the water. Once everything was set up, he set off to rush into the frothing waves when his dad grabbed his wrist.

"You aren't going into the water today," he said sternly. Billy frowned, looking down at his dads iron grip around his small wrist.

"Why? I brought my trunks and a towel and everything!" He complained, looking to his mother for support. She stood back, giving Billy a pitying look.

"Because there are too many people in the water. Your mother would hate to see you drown." He dropped Billy's wrist a little harsher than he had to.

"What about you? Won't you hate to see me drown?" Billy asked, looking up into his dad's expressionless face.

"Go and play in the park." Billy didn't mention the blatant ignoring of the question and ran off to the small playground at the edge of the beach. It was almost completely full, save for one single swing. Next to Teddy. Billy ran straight up to him and shoved his back, pushing his swing higher. Teddy cried out and dug his feet into the sand, stopping the swing. he turned around, and his face lit up when he saw Billy.

"Bill!" He exclaimed, jumping off the swing and running around to hug Billy. Billy wrapped his arms around Teddy, burying his nose into the crook of his neck.

"Hey. Are you saving that swing for anyone?" Billy asked. Teddy grabbed his hand and led him around to the front of the swings and pushed Billy into one of them.

"I was saving it for you, dummy. You said you'd be here today."

"Here I am."

Billy and Teddy swung and talked and kicked sand at each other for half an hour. He hadn't seen much of Teddy since he was transferred to a different school, so beach weekends were always Billy's favourite times of the year. They talked about what Teddy's new school was like. As much as Billy wouldn't admit it, he was sort of glad that Teddy hadn't made many new friends. He didn't like the thought of being replaced. Teddy was his only and best friend. They'd known each other since Kindergarten, and Billy hoped that they would still be best friends when they were eighty. He kicked his legs behind him to propel himself higher so that he had a full view of the beach. His parents were lounging under the umbrella, their backs facing away from the playground. Teddy's mom sat among a group of other middle-aged women, chatting animatedly and not bothering to check on their children.

Billy reached across the swings and clasped Teddy's hand in his. Teddy looked at him in surprise, and Billy wondered for a short, worrying moment if he'd just made some terrible mistake. But Teddy smiled and held onto Billy's hand as they swung.

Billy wasn't sure how much time had passed, but the beach had begun thinning out. The boys were no longer swinging, but rather sitting with a leg on either side of the swing and facing each other. Teddy's long dark hair fell in front of his face, and Billy was about to lean forward and brush it out when he heard a loud, angry voice.

"Billy! Fuck are you doing?" His father shouted. Billy locked up, watching unmoving as his dad made his way over to the playground. Teddy, realising they were still holding hands, quickly dropped one of his hands and grabbed one of Billy's hands, pulling it close to his face.

"Hey! What the fuck is this?" The gate thudded against its hinges and bounced back open as his dad walked through to stand in front of the swings.

Teddy looked up at Neil, an innocent smile playing with his features. Billy couldn't do anything except to watch the exchange.

"I was examining Billy's hand. He fell off the swing and I was checking for any scrapes," Teddy lied easily. Neil looked unconvinced for a moment, before nodding and un-tensing his shoulders a fraction. Billy felt like he could cry from relief. Teddy gently let go of Billy's hand, giving Billy a satisfied nod.

"You're not injured, but oh boy, those medical bills are gonna wish you had been," Teddy joked, forcing a smile out of Billy.

"Right. We have to go, your mother's hungry." Neil said. Billy knew for a fact that that wasn't true. His mum would let him stay at the beach as long as he wanted. They were leaving because Neil had had enough. Billy slid off the swing, and Neil clasped a rough hand around the back of Billy's neck.

"Say goodbye."

Billy smiled weakly at Teddy, who waved.

"I'll see you soon," Teddy said. Neil guided Billy away.

"You will not see him again," Neil said under his breath.

***

15th January 1985

Billy hauled himself out of the Camaro shaking off the painful memory. His encounter with Steve had shaken him more than he would've admitted, and he wished he had another packet of cigarettes, or some really strong liquor so he could forget this whole day.

Despite the afternoon sun, all the curtains in his house were drawn, which sent off alarm bells in Billy's head. He quickly racked his brain for what he might have done wrong, before realising that it didn't fucking matter. Neil would lay into him no matter what he did. Taking a slow, bracing breath, he walked through the front door. It was deathly silent in the house, something Billy wasn't used to; there was normally the buzz of the TV, or the sizzle of the grill, or Billy's loud rock music. Now, nothing. He shrugged his jacket off and chucked it over his shoulder, kicking his shoes into a corner of the hall. He thudded upstairs and into his room. He had barely closed his door before he was shoved hard up against it. His jacket slipped off his shoulder.

"Jesus! What the fuck?" He exclaimed. The angry face of Neil came into view. His breath smells like alcohol and tobacco, and Billy has to breathe quick and shallow so he won't throw up.

"You got some fucking nerve, boy. Speaking to me like that." Neil spat. Terrified, Billy stumbled out an answer.

"I'm sorry, sir, you made me jump."

Neil shoved a magazine in front of Billy's face. It took his eyes a moment to adjust, but when they did, his heart dropped through to the pit of his stomach. On the front cover of the magazine, a semi-nude man posed crudely atop a mannequin horse. It was amusing for Billy at the time he brought it. Not so much anymore.

"What the fuck is this? Thought I'd beat the faggot out of you back in Cali. Why. Didn't you get. The memo?" His voice was filled with venom and anger and hate. Despite the fact that Neil wasn't actively hurting him at the moment (with his fists at least), but Billy was still struggling to breathe. There was a stifling beat of silence as Billy tried to come up with an excuse.

Billy scoffed, pretending not to have any idea where that Magazine came from. "I-it was probably Max. You know her, playing stupid pranks."

Neil dropped the magazine and gripped the sleeves of Billy's vest, pulled him close to his face, then shoved him hard back into the door. Billy's head slammed into the back of the door, and stars flashed behind his eyes.

"Don't fucking lie to me. I know you. You're a disgusting queer." He hit Billy around the face. Billy spat blood onto the carpet. Neil sneered.

"But you know what they say, third times a charm."

***

Max sat on the edge of her bed, a superhero comic clutched tightly in her hands. She had tried before to block out the sound of his dad in Billy's room next door, but nothing could prevent her from hearing it. As much as she didn't like Billy, she wouldn't wish this kind of constant abuse of him, for anything.

"Max? Max, do you copy? Zoomer!" 

Over the sound of the thumping, she could hear the faint radio static of her Walkie-talkie. Shuffling off her bed, she reached over to the radio stand and plucked the talkie off of it. Lucas' voice rang through it.

"Max, do you copy? We have a code red."

Panic seizing her chest, she pressed the button and spoke into the mic.

"Lucas, I copy. What's the matter?" She asked hurriedly.

"You have to get to Mike's house right now. We have a code red, I repeat, code red. El saw something."


	2. Chapter two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve hates Billy. Like, really, properly hates him. Hates him so much. He's constantly thinking about Billy and how much he hates him.

15th January 1985

Steve Harrington hated Billy Hargrove the moment he saw him step out of the fucking blue Camaro. There was no part of him that Steve found even remotely appealing. His personality? On par with that of a sociopath. His looks? Steve didn't think he was much to look at. At least that's what he told himself. His breath always stank of alcohol and Tobacco and Steve couldn't understand what self-respecting girl would want to make out with that.

His day had been bad enough before Hargrove decided to rub a bit more salt into his festering wound. Still reeling from his breakup with Nancy, Steve spent most school days actively trying to avoid her and Byers in the school corridors.

"It's been over three months already, Steve. You've just gotta move on." Dustin kept reminding him. Easier said than done, Steve thought. The day Billy had come over to him on the bleachers had been a particularly awful one. He'd gotten a phone call from his parents that morning, telling him that they wouldn't be home for another week or two, claiming that they 'found something better in Prague'. Steve couldn't be surprised that they decided there were better things to do than look after their son. And the blows just kept coming: three detentions for misplaced homework, tripping over his undone laces during gym and falling flat on his face, and spilling his cafeteria fruit pot down the front of his shirt were just a few examples. What hurt him most was when he got a radio call from his walkie-talkie from Mike, telling him that he wasn't invited to D&D that night. Six months ago, Steve could give less of a shit about any of the kids, but since the traumatic experience they had all gone through last year, the kids were like his family. He would never tell any of them that, but he was pretty sure they were the only friends he had now, and he did think the little shits were pretty cool. Dustin especially. The two had bonded over their hair and their girl troubles, and Steve considered him the brother he never had but always secretly wanted. He hadn't spoken to Dustin since the last weekend and was surprised that he didn't speak up on his behalf. Steve told himself he didn't care, but the tears he shed on the bleachers told a different story.

Not having a curfew, or anyone to come home to, Steve spent the evening driving aimlessly around Hawkins and drinking beer. Parts of the road had been blocked off, as they had started construction on the new mall. His dad had told him as soon as the news of the mall started to spread that Steve was expected to get a job at one of the shops for the summer. As it was his last year in High School, and he definitely wasn't getting good enough grades to go to any Colleges, he had to get a job straight away in order to make a living. He was going to be nineteen in a couple of months and his parents made it very clear that they would not provide for him financially after his birthday. He was expected to get a job and move out as quickly as possible. Steve wasn't sure how it was going to be possible to get a house working minimum wage at some JC Penny or fast food place.

It was nearly midnight by the time Steve pulled up in front of his house. None of the lights was on, of course. Some small part of him had hoped his parents were just joking about Prague, but as he unlocked the front door and stepped into the chilly hall, he remembered that his parents never joked about anything. He kicked his shoes off and stripped down to his boxers. Dumping his Talkie on the sofa, he made his way into the back garden clutching a six-pack of his dads gas-station lager. The outside light turned on automatically, casting an ominous orange glow over the large expanse of the garden. the pool had not been cleaned in weeks and was beginning to exhibit signs of moulding. His parents left him a list of chores before they left. Cleaning the pool was not one of them. He dipped his feet into the cold water, blanching slightly at the sudden change in temperature. he ripped open the cardboard packaging and pulled two cans out. He downed them both quickly and without a second thought. He was vaguely aware that tomorrow was a school day, but he was also aware that he didn't give a shit. So Steve drank the rest of the case, and passed out on the side of the pool, the cool air and chirping crickets the only thing reminding him that he was alive.

***

16th January 1985

The harsh morning light woke Steve the next morning. It took him a good five minutes to remember where he was and what he'd done last night, but once he did…

"Urghhh, fuck me," he groaned, the first wave of a hangover hitting him. School was the last thing on his mind, but he knew that if he bunked, even for one day, his father would find out and he'd probably lose his eating privileges. He dragged his numb feet out of the pool and stumbled to his feet. The clock in the kitchen told him it was five past nine. twenty seconds passed before he realised that meant he was five minutes late for school.

Twenty minutes of swearing and shouting later, and he was practically crawling through the school doors. He noticed Billy's blue Camaro was absent from the parking lot. Not that he was looking for it, it was just a very noticeable car. Ms Winfield his bitch of an English teacher handed him a tardy slip and another detention to add to the pile. He slept through the second and third period and then spent lunch flicking his walkie-talkie on and off, hoping maybe someone would speak to him. He had managed to avoid Nancy's pitying glances, and Tommy H's mocking words for the time being.

The final lesson of the day couldn't have come any sooner, and Steve was glad that he had managed to breeze through the day without any troubles from one Billy Hargrove, who, thankfully didn't appear to even be in school that day.

He settled in his chair at the far end of the science lab, the perfect place to fuck around and not get caught. Jenna, the girl who used to sit next to him in class, gave Steve a strange look, before going to sit at the table right at the front of the class. It hurt to know that once upon a time, Steve had been the most popular guy in school, and now no one wanted to sit with him. He couldn't fucking wait to graduate.

Mrs Clearwater walked into class holding several worksheets. Steve sighed, it was going to be one of those lessons.

"Good, morning class. Today I will be partnering you all up and giving each pair an essay question relating to the history and use of fire. You will have to work on the question with your partner for the rest of the school year. This will go towards sixty per cent of your final grade," she explained. Steve rolled his eyes as Mrs Clearwater began pairing people off. When she got to Steve she hesitated.

"And Mr Harrington, you can go with…"

The door slammed open, and the devil walked in.

Hargrove walked through the door, hands in his jacket pockets as if he wasn't five hours late for school. Mrs Clearwater seemed unfazed by Billy's entrance, instead smiling and pointing an accusatory finger towards Steve.

"Perfect. Mr Harrington, you can pair up with Mr Hargrove. Everyone find a station with a bunsen burner and grab a worksheet from me."

Steve locked eyes with Billy, who flicked his tongue out to lick the corner of his lips in some way that appeared suggestive. Steve wished he was dead.

Steve quickly made his way over to an empty workstation, trying to ignore Billy, who slumped against the desk with a cruel smile lining his face.

"Well well well, you're stuck with me now Harrington," Billy sung. Steve said nothing as he switched the gas to the burner on and watched the safety flame flicker upwards. Billy flicked Steve's shoulder to try and get his attention.

"Oi, Harrington. I'm talking to you shithead."

"Fuck do you want Hargrove?" Steve asked, turning the flame so it sparked a blue flame.

"Nothin'. Just wanna see how far I can go until you crack."

Steve whirled around so quickly he almost knocked the bunsen burner over. Red tinged his vision as he looked at Billy's smug face. He had to remind himself that punching Hargrove in the middle of the class would be no good for anybody.

"Look, dude. We're being forced to work together for the next five months. I don't like you, and I know you hate me, but for the love of Christ, can you just be cool for one hour a week? Is that so much to ask for? Then as soon as this class ends you can go back to being a dick." Steve said. He swore he saw a glint of something like guilt flash across Billy's features, but it was gone so quickly he must have imagined it. He sent a silent prayer to whatever god may be up there that Billy would just comply for one, just one, a lesson a week. But who was he kidding? Billy Hargrove only had one emotion: Anger. He was not capable of compliance or togetherness, Steve should have learnt his lesson. Billy had nearly killed him back in October, and feelings couldn't change that quickly, Steve would know.

"Beg for it," Billy said, his voice strangely low, his blue eyes a slightly darker shade, the color of the pilot light flickering above the bunsen burner. It unnerved Steve a little. He wasn't sure what Billy was getting at, but he really wasn't having any of it. He turned away to examine the flame.

"No need to get so hot and bothered over me, Hargrove. Step to the back of the line."

The lesson dragged by the rest of the hour. Steve tried to concentrate on the work, while Billy kept fucking around with the bunsen burner. At one point he lifted it up while it was on the safety flame and brandished it towards Steve like some weapon. For a brief second, Steve wondered if Billy would actually try and set him on fire in the middle of class. But no, he was just being a dick.

Once the bell rang, Billy didn't hesitate to grab his back and storm right out the class, not even waiting for the essay assigned question him and Steve would be given. Steve hung back until the last student left then walked up to Mrs Clearwater. She peered up at Steve through her glasses.

"Yes, Mr Harrington?"

Steve ran a bracing hand through his hair, letting out an uncomfortable laugh.

"I was just wondering if I could swap partners with somebody else?" He asked.

She turned back down to her diary, clearing deeming his question not worthy enough to put her full attention into.

"And why is that?"

"Hargrove-- Billy, he's a massive distraction. I want to get a good grade on this course and I don't think having Billy as a partner would benefit me at all."

She made a grunting noise and lifted out a piece of paper from her journal.

"Mr Harrington, I don't suppose it would matter who you have for a partner. You have failed science four years consecutively, and I don't think that's Mr Hargrove's fault. I suggest you take your essay question and start working on it tonight." She thrusts the paper into Steves slightly trembling hands. He nods silently and makes his way out of the school. He couldn't be mad at Miss, everything she said was true. It wasn't Billy's fault that he's failed science every high school year. Steve was kidding himself by thinking he could turn an E into an A by the end of the year. He wasn't sure why he even bothered in the first place. Maybe it was because he wanted to feel like he had done something with his teenage years other than be a massive arsehole and a slacker.

Billy's Camaro was nowhere in sight and Steve cursed under his breath. Of course, Billy wouldn't hang around after school, he was probably getting off with some girl in the middle of the woods.

"For fuck sake," Steve muttered, throwing himself into the driver's seat of his car. He'd just have to find Billy on Monday.

***

Max sat at the edge of the circle, next to Lucas. The two of them, and Will and Dustin sat anxiously waiting for Mike and El to speak.

"Yesterday, I and El were just mucking about," Mike began, his hand linked tightly with El's. "We were playing around and watching Hopper make a fool of himself in front of Will's mom when El saw something in the shadows."

"What did she see?" Dustin asked. "Was it a demodog?"

"No," El said quickly.

"She said it didn't look like a demodog. That it was bigger. And angrier."

"It wants revenge. It is angry. At us." El said.

Max felt her lungs constrict and she struggled to draw a breath. They had just gotten rid of all the demodogs. This couldn't be happening so soon after. All she wanted was some semblance of her normal life back, but that was clearly too much to ask for.

"If it's not a demodog, could it be the mind-flayer? Coming back to kill us all for killing their kids?" Lucas asked. El shook her head.

"Didn't look like Will's drawings."

"It looked smaller. And with fewer tentacle things. But it wasn't a demodog, it was standing on two legs." Mike said.

"Are you sure it wasn't just a scary-looking man?" Max piped in.

"No. I felt it. It felt like a demodog, but worse. Stronger."

"But there's only of them, right? We can take out just one of them." Will said hopefully.

"One that she saw. Who knows how many might be out there, just waiting in the darkness." Dustin said. Real fucking cheery.

"Great, so we just got rid of the demodogs, and now we have some angry two-legged monster thing somewhere in Hawkins thirsting for our blood. That's fucking fantastic." Max sat back, crossing her arms.

"How did it escape through the gate unnoticed? And why is it just surfacing now?" Lucas asked. Mike shrugged.

"We don't know shit right now."

Dustin stands up and grabs his walkie-talkie. "We should tell Steve. He has that bat he can help us. And we need to make up for not inviting him to D&D night."

Mike scoffed. "We don't need that douchebags help. We can take care of ourselves. We have El."

Dustin sat down defeated. Max watched El stand up and grab a blindfold. Mike switched the settings on the TV, tuning it so the screen came up with static.

"What are you doing?" Max asked.

"Trying again. If El can get a location on that thing then tomorrow we can look for it, try and find out what it is and what it wants."

"But the Mall opening is tomorrow," Will says.

"Then that'll be our cover."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapters will be up every Monday and Thursday, hopefully.   
Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I wanted to take a bit of time to set the Billy/Steve groundwork before getting into the nitty-gritty of the story. Steve's pov was a lot harder to write than I thought it was going to be. I apologise for the mis-spelling of some words and phrases; I'm British but I've been trying to write this story using the American spellings of words.  
Please leave a comment if you enjoyed!


	3. chapter three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Im really awful at summaries.

16th January 1985

Stupid stupid stupid fucking Harrington. The moment he stepped into that classroom he knew he'd made a very bad mistake. And he had spent that entire wretched hour trying his very best to piss him off, to push his buttons, to hurt him. But either Steve wasn't affected by his taunts anymore, or something was bothering him enough that Billy was the last thing he had to worry about. It shocked Billy to his core when Steve turned on him and essentially told him to get his shit together or get out. It surprised Billy enough that he wasn't able to think or a nasty quip to hit him back with. Steve didn't even look angry, he just seemed… tired. Like he'd had enough of Billy's shit and he just didn't care anymore. But Billy sensed there was something else, some underlying issue. Billy told himself he didn't care what it was, and yet he spent the rest of that hour trying to think about what problems King Steve could have.

Once the bell rang, Billy didn't hesitate to get the fuck out of school. He didn't wait for Steve to switch the gas off or to collect their essay question. He grabbed his bag off the table he had slunk it on and paraded himself out the class and out the school. He was one of the first people out of school and he felt a little bit of pressure release from his shoulders as his Camaro came into view right at the back of the parking lot. For a split second, he considered waiting for Harrington, but he shovelled that idea right to the bottom of his brain. He needed to get these thoughts out as quickly as possible. He couldn't allow himself to fall for another boy, especially Steve 'his mortal enemy' Harrington. Plus he was ninety-nine per cent sure Steve was straight. He had dated Nancy Wheeler for what he guessed was a decent amount of time, and as far as he knew, he was still hung up on the bitch. Sighing, he climbed into the car and lit a cigarette, letting the smoke release all of his pent up feelings.

He needed to do something about these feelings. He couldn't be this kind of person. It wasn't good, or healthy. Like his dad had told him back in Cali, these feelings were a disease, something that needed to be flushed, or knocked, out of him. And if these subtle changes in his emotions were what he thought they were, they had to be flushed out.

The living room curtains were drawn when Billy pulled up. Max was out with her lame-ass friends this evening, so he hadn't had to pick her up thank god. Billy chucked his cigarette out of the car window and stepped out to crush it under the toe of his boot. Sucking in a deep breath, he walked through the front door, mentally psyching himself up to what he was about to do. He kept repeating his father's words over and over in his head.

Neil was, as usual, sitting in his armchair watching some sport on the tv. He looked up when the door slammed shut, his face twisting from content to hatred. He clicked the tele off and stood up to face Billy. Billy took another cigarette out of his pocket and lit it, knowing Neil hated smoking in the house.

"What do you think you're doing?" Neil asked, advancing on him. He took the subconscious step backwards, already feeling the quickening of his heartbeat, the beginnings of sweat pricking his hairline. Neil knocked the smoking butt out of Billy's hand, and Billy let it fall to the carpet. Maybe it would set fire to the carpet and burn the house down. Billy could dream. Neil didn't hesitate to stamp down on the butt and then press his arm against Bily's kneck, pushing him backwards and up against the wall. Billy could smell the strong liquor on his breath and he had to swallow a gag.

"You didn't learn your lesson yesterday? You wanna come in here and disrespect me one more fucking time, huh?" Neil breathed.

Billy let out a shaky breath. "Get rid of it," he demanded. Neil pressed his arm harder into his neck, making it that little bit harder to breathe.

"What was that?"

"It didn't… work. Get it. Out."

Neil let out a chuckle, and released the pressure off of Billy's neck ever so slightly, instead of landing a hard blow to Billy's stomach with his other hand. Billy would have keeled over had he not been kept up by Neil's arm.

"Oh, I see. You still got some faggot in you. Well that just won't do, will it? Who is it this time, huh? Give me a name and I'll get him good and proper, teach both of you flamers a lesson." Neil landed another blow to the same spot against his abdomen and Billy let out a groan. He could hate Steve with every fibre of his being, but he would never sell him out to his dad. Besides, as far as Steve knew, Billy Hated his guts. He'd never guess that Billy was a dirty fag who had started to garner feelings other than hatred for the boy. He closed his eyes and didn't retaliate as Neil dealt blow after blow, praying that after this he could go back to normal. That he'd be able to look at Steve and have his stomach not flip.

The beating allowed Billy some short, sick reprieve, as he focused on the pain all over his body rather than Steve's hair, Steve's eyes, Steve's lips.

Disgusting, dirty, sick, disgusting, dirty, queer.

***

23rd September 1975

Billy left his bedroom window open as he went down for dinner with his father and his mother. When he came back up, Teddy was sitting in the middle of his bed, flicking through an action comic. Billy waved at him and sat next to him, shuffling up on the covers so that their shoulders were brushing.

"Spider-man. He's one of my favourites," Billy said. Teddy dropped the comic on the bed and turned to face Billy. His hair was getting so long now that it had started to grow over his eyes.

"Does that not annoy you?" Billy asked. Teddy brushed his fringe out of his eyes just for it to fall right back into place.

"A little, but mom doesn't want my hair cut," Teddy replied. Billy shot off the bed.

"Where are you--" Teddy started but Billy put a finger to his lips and shot out of his room.

His parents' room was immaculate, with all his parents' clothes folded perfectly and placed gently into drawers. Billy tiptoed over to his mother's side of the bed and opened her bedside drawer. Underneath underwear, makeup brushes and negative pregnancy tests, Billy took out a sparkly gold Alice band. Smiling to himself he rolled over the bed and ran out the room. When he held the headband up to Teddy his eyes widened.

"You can't be serious. Won't your mom notice it's missing?" He asked. Billy shrugged.

"Probably not. And she won't care, I've never seen her wear it." Billy sat back on the bed, sitting opposite Teddy. He reached over and brushed his fringe back up his forehead, securing the headband. He sat back and admired his work. The Alice band held its place nicely, with only a couple fair strands slipping through the gaps. But it was a huge improvement. Billy leant forward and flicked Teddy's forehead.

"There, now I can see your massive forehead," Billy said, and Teddy hit him on the arm with the Spider-man comic.

The two boys spent the evening underneath Billy's covers, the only light coming from Teddy's dying flashlight. When Billy's mom came in to say goodnight, he shoved Teddy fully under the covers and dumped all of his pillows over the human-shaped lump.

After his mom closed the door, Teddy arched his back under the covers and all the pillows on top of him went flying. The two boys suppressed their giggles with their hands and sit back under the covers. Teddy's flashlight had dimmed enough that it was barely producing enough light for them to see their hands in front of their faces. Teddy let out a soft yelp as the covers knocked the Alice band off. Billy pushed Teddy's hair back up with his hand as he looked for the headband, which had fallen off the bed.

"Hey, it's okay, just leave it," Teddy whispered.

"No, your hair gets in your way."

Teddy grabbed Billy's wrist gently and lowered. The two boys were so close that Billy could feel Teddy's exhale of breath on his nose. Billy leant closer to push his fringe to the side so he could see his eyes. In the almost darkness, Teddy's eyes looked almost orange. Before Billy could pull away, Teddy had pressed his lips against Billy's. Billy's gasp was swallowed by the kiss. A million thoughts were rushing through his head all at once: Teddy was a boy, his best friend. Why was he kissing him? Why did Billy enjoy it? There were so many things wrong with what was happening, and yet it was all drowned out by the fact that it felt so right.

Teddy pulled away, his eyes wide and frightened.

"I-I'm sorry, that was a mistake, I-" Billy shushed him with another kiss.

"We'll always be together right?" Teddy asked.

"Yeah, of course. Best friends forever."

Billy locks his fingers through Teddy's, and the flashlight switched off.

***

17th January 1985

The next morning, Billy woke sore and bruised. His chest and stomach were littered with dark purple and brown splotches, one particularly large one stretching the length of his abdomen. All of which could be easily hidden with layers of clothing. Only Billy would know they were there. And Neil. On a normal Saturday, he would wake up way past noon, as on the weekends no one gave a shit about him, but that day someone was pounding on his bedroom door hours before. It took him a good amount of time to get out of bed and pull a vest over his body. He pulled the door open and max stepped backwards, her arms crossed. She was already fully dressed.

"Fuck do you want?" Billy grumbled.

"Dad says you have to drive me down to the mall opening. He and mom are going out." She said.

"Can't they just take you on their way out?"

Max shrugged. "Can you do it?" It sounded like a question, but Billy knew he wasn't going to have a say in it. His relationship with Max was strange; she had more power than him now, as she had instilled the fear of God in him that October night. Their relationship was a broken, fucked-up power trip. Billy didn't have the energy to fight back, so he sighed an told her he'd be down in a moment. He shut the door in her confused face.

Billy took his time getting ready, choosing to spray himself with his body spray in lieu of a shower. He didn't think he'd be able to get in or out of the bath in his current state. He brushed a comb through his tangled hair, fixing it with some hair spray before chucking some money, his lighter and two packs of Marlboro into his jacket pockets.

He trundled down the stairs and pulled his boots on without doing the laces up and pulled the door open. Max followed silently behind him, clutching her rucksack. The two of them got in the car and Billy drove out of the space.

The journey was awkward and quiet, as Billy's car radio had decided it didn't want to work that day. Max broke the silence ten minutes into the drive.

"Are you… okay?" She asked.

"What do you care?" Billy bit back, keeping his eyes on the road.

Max huffed and sat back in her seat with her arms crossed. "I don't care. You're just quiet. You're never quiet." Billy shifted uncomfortably in his seat, not enjoying the fact that Max has clearly been observing him. After a moment, he sighed and replied.

"Just tired. You're banging woke me up early." It was partly the truth. It was more than what he was willing to give his stepsister.

"Sorry, you choose to sleep in half the day." Max tried to turn the radio buttons to play some music, but there was nothing but static. Billy swatted her hand away.

"Stop or you'll make it worse." Billy noticed the playful tone to his voice, how his command wasn't malicious or angry. Perhaps he was just tired, but Billy sensed there was more than just exhaustion. Whether he saw it properly yet or not, he was beginning to change.

So lost in thought, he hadn't realised that Max had been talking for the last few seconds.

"--And Dustin is dragging Steve along too, which nobody wants."

"Wait, Steve is going to the mall?" Billy asked. He had planned to hang around the mall for a while to see what all the fuss was about, and maybe pick up some girls to help him take his mind off of Steve. But if Steve was going to be there too he wasn't going to be able to focus on anything other than bumping into him. So once they reached the mall, already packed with half the town of Hawkins waiting eagerly outside the doors. Max hesitated halfway out the car door. she turned to look at Billy, who was watching the crowd intensely.

"Are you going to come?" Max asked. Billy shook his head.

"No, god no. I wouldn't be seen dead at this place. Get out, I'll pick you up at four." He said.

"Uh, don't bother. Steve's giving me a lift home."

Billy nodded once, and as soon as Max shut the door, he sped away, wanting to get as far from the mall as possible.

He drove until he got to the edge of the woods. His mind was abuzz with confusing thoughts and emotions, none of which had been beaten out of him as he had wished for yesterday. God, he needed a smoke. He fumbled his way out of the car and lit a cigarette in his hands. He wandered into the woods, absent-mindedly flicking his lighter on and off and watching the orange flame bounce around the metal. The forest was dry for mid-January, and he had the urge to drop his lit cigarette to see if he could start a forest fire.

A shrill screech ahead of him made him stop in his tracks. He took a drag of his cigarette and looked around for the source of the sound. A rustling came from the bushes in front of him.

"Hey!" He called. The screech sounded again, louder this time. A cold chill shot down Billy's spine and he realised that being there may not be the best idea. He chucked his butt on the ground, and before he could stamp it out, a long black arm slithered out of the bush. Billy yelped and fell backwards, landing hard on his ass. The arm looked like melted flesh and not human. it grabbed the sizzling butt with a smaller slimy tendril and sucked it back in through the bushes.

"What the fuck?" Billy exclaimed, pushing himself painfully to his feet. From the dark middle of the bush, a large yellow cat eye burst through. Billy choked on a gasp. What the fuck was that thing. He didn't hesitate to turn on his heel and stumble further into the forest.

***

As the Mayor addressed the Hawkin masses at the front of the new mall, Dustin scoured the crowd for Steve's quiff. Over the heads of all the people, he saw Steve leaning against the wall with his hands in his pockets, as if he didn't want to be there. He shoved his way through annoyed people until he got to Steve.

"Hey! Hey, over here!" Dustin called. Steve pushed off the wall and as soon as Dustin could reach him, he grabbed hold of Steve's arm and dragged him away from the crowd.

"Hey hey hey stop, you're stretching my shirt," Steve complained. He pulled himself out of Dustin's grip and turned to glare at him. "What do you want me here for?"

"Listen, the rest of them don't want you in on this, but we could really use your help," Dustin said. Steve raised his eyebrows, allowing Dustin to continue.

"El saw something in her freaky vision. A creature that escaped through the gate."

"What, a demodog got out?"

Dustin shook his head. "No, no, she said it didn't look like a demodog. It stood on two legs."

Steve nodded along with what Dustin was saying, rubbing his hand over his chin. "And you're sure it was on this side of the gate? That she wasn't just looking over into the upside-down?"

Dustin shook his head, getting frustrated. "No! Okay no, she saw some freaky looking thing in the forest. We're all going there tonight, and I want you to join us. You have that nail bat."

Steve puffed up his chest and nodded at Dustin, who was rolling his eyes impatiently.

"Alright, you don't need to get so excited. We might die tonight," Dustin sighed.

Steve ruffled Dustin's hair. "Don't you worry shithead, I'll look after you."

"You are ridiculous."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I GOT TOO EXCITED SCREW A SCHEDULE!  
I'm really afraid that now that stranger things have been out for nearly two months, that people are starting to lose interest. It's a normal thing that happens as shows finish a season for a year, but I'm reading some fucking incredible harringrove fics at the moment, and I just hope the writers continue with them to the end, because I adore them.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter!


	4. Chapter four

17th January 1985

The moment Steve and Dustin came into view of the gang, Steve realised that his involvement in this new mystery was perhaps not the best idea. Mike, in his baby blue shorts and yellow-green striped polo, looked about ready to pounce on Steve. Steve leaned in to whisper to Dustin.

"Why does Mike look like he might stab me?" Steve hissed. Dustin's face paled a little.

"He kind of really doesn't want you a part of this."

"What? Why? Did he forget that I saved all your asses last year? I am an integral part of this team!" Steve complained.

The two boys stopped in front of the gang. Mike stood front and centre, El's arm linked through his. They were all standing in the middle of the recently opened mall.

"What is he doing here?" Mike asked accused. "Didn't I say we would be fine without him. He's just dead weight."

Steve waved sarcastically, turning Mike's attention from Dustin to him.

"Hellooo, I'm right here asshole. I don't know where you got it in your thick skull, but you'd all be dead if it weren't for me." That shut him up. Steve leant back on his heels, plastering a smug smile on his face. Mike rolled his eyes and motioned for the two of them to join the group.

They all walked around the mall pretending to window shop until Lucas gave them the signal. He spun around to stop the group in front of an ice cream parlour and began to squark wildly, attracting the attention of some worried passerby's. Max grabbed his arm and shoved it down quickly.

"What the hell was that?" She demanded. Lucas shrugged.  
"Will and I came up with it." Will stood behind Mike, looking awkwardly at the ground. Steve clapped his hands together and assumed the role of leader.

"Guessing that means it's time to go?" Everyone nodded and Steve pivoted, motioning towards the front of the mall. He felt a sense of power that he hadn't in a long time, as the tweens followed behind him like a pack of ducklings. He paraded them all into his car. Dustin called shotgun, while Max, El and Mike sat in the back seats. Lucas and Will drew the short straws and spent the entire ride up to the forest complaining about the bumps from the trunk.

"Hey El, is there any way you can, you know, sense it?" Steve asked, pulling into the since dead pumpkin farm at the outskirts of the forest. the sun had begun to lower itself in the sky, the light blue turning into a faded lilac.

"I feel it's aura. I feel sick when it's near," El said.

"Right, well we're gonna have to hurry this up if we wanna finish before it gets dark. I'm sure you kids have curfews." Steve slammed the car door shut and made his way around to open the trunk. Lucas and Will stumbled out, Lucas holding his stomach and wailing over-dramatically. Steve pushed him out the way and pulled out the fake bottom of the trunk. He yanked out the nail bat, feeling its weight in his hands and being instantly reminded of last October; of using the bat to fend off the demo-dogs. The ridged ends of some of the nails were still crusted in the black ichor of the creatures. Lucas squealed, an uncomfortably high pitched sound for a fourteen-year-old.

"You kept that under there? That's where I was sitting! My ass was on top of it!"

"You never know when you're going to need it," Steve replied.

The whole group followed Steve and El into the forest. Steve made sure to keep the group close together, and that Dustin didn't decide to take a nature watching detour. They walked for christ knows how long in near silence so that El could concentrate on 'sensing' the monster. Steve refused to let his mind wander to anything except the task at hand, and yet he kept finding himself thinking about the previous day's science lesson. It had been no surprise to Steve that he chose to spend the hour being a dick to him, but what he did find odd was the fact that Billy didn't stick around at the end of class. It was odd for Billy not to jump at the chance of bullying Steve out of school hours when he couldn't be apprehended by the Teachers. Perhaps there was more to Hargrove than met the eye…

Steve shook that thought of quickly. Not possible. He was probably off on a date with some younger girl or getting his car workshopped. Either way, Steve didn't care, he was just glad that Billy was gone.

El stopped suddenly, lifting her hands out to stop Steve from going any further. She pointed to the bushes a few feet away.

"There." Steve armed his bat and advanced on the bush slowly.

"Be careful," Dustin hissed. Steve shushed him angrily. He gently pushed the bush leaves to the side to peek through.

"There's nothing here," he said, mildly disappointed. He had hoped for a fight. In fact, he had been itching to put his fists to good use for a while now.

"Wait, look," Max called out. She was pointing down at a mangled looking cigarette butt. Steve kicked it with his foot and watched as it rolled across the leaves and twigs, eventually reaching a stop by a large black boot.

"Someone's been here," Mike pointed out. Steve nudged the boot over with his bat.

"Someone's been here."

"Yeah, way to point out the obvious," Mike rebuffs.

"Yeah, but who?" Will asked.

A loud cry sounded from beyond the bushes, guttural and definitely not human. The gang formed a huddle, Steve taking up the front.

"I guess we're about to find out."

Steve pushed through the bushes, only to quickly push back.

"What? What is it?" Dustin whispered. The gang all peered through gaps in the bush. The creature stood on two long, gangly legs. It was seven foot tall at least and made of black, fleshy goo. What struck Steve was the massive yellow eye that took up most of the front of its head, along with multitudes of smaller, darker eyes looking in all directions. Steve wasn't able to see who the creature was bracing to attack, but he didn't hesitate to find out. With a loud war cry, Steve barged out of the bush with his bat held high above his head. The creature turned to look at him but wasn't able to react in time. Steve landed the blow to the top of the creatures head, sending it backwards, startled. Steve got a good hit to its strangely boneless shoulder, and another to one of its smaller eyes before the creature took him down. He hit the ground hard, his shoulder blades taking the brunt of the force.

"What the fuck are you?" He cried, trying to get a kick between its legs. The bottom half of the creatures face split wide open, revealing several rows of razor-sharp teeth. Steve let out a yelp that could rival Lucas' scream and reached his arm up to try and bat the back of the monsters head.

"Billy!" He heard Max scream.

Billy?

Steve craned his neck and saw Max helping a disgruntled looking Billy to his feet.

"Get off my friend you freak!" Dustin yanked the bat out of Steve's shaking grip and batted the creature with such force that it rolled right off of Steve. Steve didn't have much time to get to his feet, because as soon as he was steady on his legs, he was gripped with a pain so intense it knocked the breath out of his lungs. He looked into the large yellow eye of the creature as it loomed over him. He was vaguely aware of his peers screaming and shouting, at him he wasn't sure. All he was able to focus on was the gradually increasing pain spreading across his entire body like a fire. He tried desperately to drag his eyes away from it, but he found himself rooted to the spot, every muscle in his body locked up and seizing. He tried to suck in a breath but found that his lungs had been closed off. Black spots pointed the edges of his vision, and all sound around him quietened to a distant hum.

Was he dying? He was pretty sure he was dying. And in front of all the children. And Billy. Oh god, he was dying in front of Hargrove, this was mortifying.

And then he was sure the ground was rushing up to meet him, but he could no longer feel anything, not even the pain. He'd been close to death a couple of times before, but this felt a lot… nicer. Calmer.

He couldn't remember his name anymore, or where he was, or even why the purple sky above him was rapidly fading to grey. But he let it happen. He fell asleep.

***

And then he woke up.

The ground was bouncing up and down violently, lurching Steve's stomach up to his throat. He groaned, pushing down the nauseating feeling. It took his eyes a while to focus on his rapidly moving surroundings. The sky above him was a dark, velveted grey. Steve pinched his eyebrows together.

"Hey, he's awake," a voice sounded from his side, and then Dustin's face appeared in view. Steve gurgled out a complaint. Dustin patted the side of his face.

"It's alright buddy. You tried your best."

This whole situation felt eerily familiar to Steve. He tried to sit up, but Dustin pushed him back down.

"You'll hit your head if you sit up. We're in the trunk of your car." Dustin explained.

"Who's… driving?" Steve slurred. His tongue felt detached from the rest of the mouth.

Dustin grimaced. "Billy."

Steve shot up into a sitting position, thumping his head on the roof of the car. The feeling of nausea returned tenfold, and he vomited the contents of his stomach up in the corner of the trunk. Dustin let out a high pitched scream, shuffling as far away from Steve as he could. A commotion from the front of the car started, with all of the children shouting at Dustin to shut up. Steve looked through the seat gaps and met Billy's eyes through the rearview mirror. Steve thought he saw concern in his pale eyes but decided he was definitely delusional. Once the car calmed down to a heavy silence, Steve spoke up.

"What happened?"

Mike turned around in his seat to glare at Steve.

"You wiped out. Big time. The Beholder really fucked you up." El hit Mike on the arm, muttering something about language.

"Beholder?"

"Oh yeah, we gave it a name. Beholder, like the D and D monster with the massive eye and the ability to inflict pain upon someone without direct contact," Dustin explained. He told Steve that that was how it had managed to knock Steve out so easily. That and the fact that Steve had never won a fight before and that wouldn't start so soon.

"So you just left it there."

Dustin shook his head. "No, oh no, Billy managed to take it out while it was killing you." Steve involuntarily met Billy's eyes again. This time they displayed no emotion. Steve shook his head and took to laying back down, where his entire body hurt less.

"That was good of him," he mumbled.

Steve flickered in and out of consciousness for the majority of the journey. When he was awake he was listening to Dustin and the gang explaining the upside-down to an annoyed and confused Billy. When he was asleep he was trying to escape the clutches of the Beholder's piercing gaze, the pain as fresh as if it was happening all over again. When the car eventually came to a rumbling stop, Steve was in the hazy purgatory between dreaming and reality. He was becoming acutely aware of his surroundings as someone hauled him out of the trunk of the car. He recognised the small patch of lilies and daisies at the edge of the front lawn, the red oak of his houses front door. He was carried through the threshold of his empty house and placed-- hardly delicately-- on the sofa. He tried to crane his head up to see what was going on, but every part of him felt heavy and filled with cement, so he stay watching the hurried feet of the kids. He felt utterly helpless; he had insisted on coming with them to help, to protect them, to be the muscle of the group so the kids wouldn't have to fight. He knew that El was trying to limit the use of her powers, at the request of Hopper, and Steve hadn't wanted to put her in a situation where she wouldn't have a choice. And now he was out of action and unable to do anything as they stayed in Steve's house with Billy. Billy! He hated Steve, he hated Max and the kids-- Lucas especially-- but he was still there. Steve couldn't understand why. Maybe he felt like he had some sort of obligation to keep his sister safe since the events of last October. Steve would interrogate Hargrove if he could.

He counted off all seven pairs of shoes walk into the living room. Steve's legs were pushed off the sofa and a pair of arms grabbed hold of his shoulders, forcing him to sit up. Dustin sat crossed-legged on the sofa next to him, with his hand pressed against Steve's shoulders like he was afraid Steve would fall over if he let go. El crouched down in front of him, a small smile on her face. she placed a cup in Steve's hands.

"Drink," she ordered. Steve looked down at the murky substance numbly.

"What is it?"

"Water, dumbass… and about five NSAIDs." Dustin said.

Steve downed the water in seconds, not hearing the part about the drugs Dustin had laced it with, letting it wet his desert-dry mouth and settle his churning stomach. He looked around at all the eyes watching Steve with mixed emotions. The only person not looking at Steve was Billy, who was trying to light a cigarette in the corner.

He knew he was supposed to hate Billy, but he couldn't bring himself to feel anything other than extreme exhaustion. He looked up at him, but Billy was boring a hole into the wall opposite him.

"We had to tell Billy everything," Max explained, noticing Steve's anxious glance Billy's way. "After his run-in with the Beholder, we could hardly pretend it was some kind of rabid bear. We told him about the upside-down, the lab, El and why we were all at the Byers house last October." Max cast an anxious glance over at her brother as if trying to gauge his reactions. Billy was pretending not to hear her talking.

"Whether he likes it or not, he's a part of this now."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Getting super into this fic oh my goodness. I managed to pump out ten thousand words today, I was on a fucking roll.  
Billy and Steve make my heart hurt, I love my boys so much.  
Leave a comment if you enjoyed, they really make my day!   
Thank you for reading.


	5. Chapter five

17th January 1985

Billy had pretty much accepted his death when he heard Harrington's battle cry and watched as he hurled himself out of the obscurity of the bushes, and into the creatures line of sight. For a brief moment, Billy indulged in the idea of Steve being his knight in shining armour coming to rescue him from the monster and his life. But when he fully succumbed to his morbid reality, it was just Harrington beating a many-eyed flesh monster with a nailed baseball bat. With Maxine.

Billy was ready to barrage his stepsister with demanding questions about what the fuck was she was doing here, but she was already hauling Billy to his feet and shouting commands at the other boys like a Sargent general in the army. Astonished, Billy watched Max take control of the kids while Harrington struggled to stay on his feet.

"What's happening?" Billy asked, unable to say anything else. Perhaps the creature he thought he saw had been a bear or some large wolf and it had mauled him to death. Maybe he was dead and this was the lords' twisted version of an afterlife, created specifically for Billy. He wouldn't be surprised if Neil came careening out of the bushes to deal the final blow.

"We'll explain everything once this piece of shit is--Steve!"

She never finished her sentence. Billy looked in the direction of Harrington and found him pinned underneath the creature, his bat an inch out of reach.

"Stay there!" Max demanded.

"Hey, don't you fucking tell me what to do!" Billy shouted. Even in this freaky as shit life or death situation, Billy would not be ordered around by a thirteen-year-old. Not again at least. But it appeared that Max was only partly listening to him.

"If you want to step in and get yourself ripped to shreds, be my guest." She hesitated momentarily, watching the curly-haired boy thwack the monster off of Harrington. "If you'd like to live to be a bitch another day, stay there." Well, now he couldn't move even if he wanted to.

The real fight was over relatively quickly after that. Billy, only able to observe, watched as Harrington nearly got the upper hand before his entire body tensed up. Billy thought he was having a heart attack or some kind of fit.

"You gonna help him?" Billy said to the closest kid to him, the small boy with the awful bowl haircut. His voice suggested nonchalance and a complete disregard for Harrington's wellbeing, but Billy couldn't help the sudden panic that seized his heart like a fist. He could hate and hate Steve until the day he dies but he didn't want him dead. And he definitely didn't want these children, who clearly cared about him, to watch him die.

The only other girl apart from Max lifted her arms and pulled the monsters gaze away from Steve. Honestly, the fact that this little girl had some sort of telekinetic powers was one of the least surprising things he had seen in the past hour. Three of the boys caught Harrington haphazardly as he toppled backwards. For a sharp second, Billy thought the girl had gotten to it too late, that the monster had managed to kill Steve where he stood, without even touching him, but the curly-haired boy practically cried with relief when he found a pulse. Billy felt the constriction against his heart release and found himself able to breathe freely.

"You have to help us," the curly one said looking at Billy. He was keenly aware of the time and his curfew and Neil's anger, but a look at all the children's pleading eyes, Maxine's too, and Steve's limp body among the leaves and black blood made him roll his eyes and make his way over. He had to step anxiously over the still body of the monster. The brown-haired girl had made quick work of it once it's menacing eye was off of Steve. He knew that he had to come up with some kind of bulletproof excuse as to why he and Max weren't going to be home that night, but he was hopeful that his blow would be softened by the fact that Max would be walking through the door with him. The kids were muttering to themselves quickly over Steve's body. It was a strange sight to behold; it gave Billy the same impression that a renaissance painting would.

"What do you want me to do?" Billy asked. The curly one looked up at Billy, his eyes were wary.

"How do we know you won't try and kill us or something?" He asked.

Billy sucked his teeth, seething. "Really? If I wanted you dead I'd just up and leave you to deal with Harrington yourselves. But no, I'm risking my goddamn neck so you shitheads don't die."

Max rolled her eyes. "You're a saint."

Billy shot her a sarcastic smile. "I like to think so."

Billy locked eyes with curly and stared him down, hoping to crack his resolve. This all seemed ridiculous: they were in some kind of feud, in the middle of the woods, while Steve Harrington lay unconscious between them, maybe dying. The bowl-cut boy nudged him, whispering. "Dustin, we need him."

Curly- Dustin- sighed and stood up, patting his shorts down.

"We need you to carry Steve to the car, he's heavy. And then drive us to his house, I know where he lives."

"Why not the Byers house. Or the Wheelers?"

"Because Steve's parents are never home, so we'll have the empty house to ourselves for as long as we need it."

As long as we need it didn't sound good to Billy. These children's parents may not care where their kids went and for how long, but his and Max's dad was far less compliant to them staying out later than eight.

All the children backed off and Billy peered down at Steve. He hated that the first thought that popped into his head was that Steve looked serenely pretty asleep. Maybe it was because he wasn't talking, but Billy thought he was at his most attractive passed out. Bending over he wrapped one arm under Steve's knees, and the other wrapped gently under his kneck. He managed to carry Steve relatively effortlessly out the woods, following the brown-haired girl Dustin called El. The long trek to Steve's car (they decided it was bigger than Billy's Camaro, and would fit them all in easily) meant that Dustin, with help from Mike Wheeler and Max, told Billy everything: From their friend bowl cut Will Byer getting lost in the upside down, to the demodogs last year; the lab where El came from, how they experimented on her, her powers. It was all so much to process, but Billy didn't interrupt them once, instead choosing to listen intently and try to compartmentalise everything they said by himself. His arms had just begun to ache when Steve's car came into view. Billy had felt Steve's weak yet steady heartbeat pulse everywhere Billy touched him, sending hot flushes across his body that he tried desperately not to focus on. Once they reached the car, Billy piled Steve into the trunk. Dustin sat with him, while Max took shotgun, and the others piled up in the middle seats.

Once they had arrived at Steve's house and made him comfortable on the massive fucking sofa in his massive fucking living room, it all became a flurry of the children rushing around, telephoning their parents and making sandwiches. Dustin kept a keen eye on Steve, occasionally shouting something whenever he moved or made a noise.

Once Steve gained consciousness, Dustin had given him a cup of water filled with several painkiller tablets. Billy watched him out the corner of his eye, unsure whether he should interrupt and tell him that by giving that many sedatives, Steve's going to become drowsy and the 'drugs' equivalent to drunk. He won't remember much of anything. But on second thought, Billy was interested in talking to a drugged up Steve with no filter and finding out what he has to say for himself.

Billy brought out a cigarette, needing something to release the tension of the evening, and tried to light ot while the children told Steve what happened. Billy pointedly didn't look in his direction, afraid his concern for Harrington would be too plain on his face.

"Whether he likes it or not, he's a part of this now," Max said. Billy chucked the unlit cigarette onto the ground and walked over to where the kids sat, on the floor facing Steve on the sofa. Not wanting to sit crossed legged on the carpet like a child in a school assembly, he dragged the armchair from the other side of the room to the middle of the semi-circle created. Max sent him a glare that he responded to with a despotic smile. The effects of the drugs Dustin had laced in his water had seemingly started to take effect, as Steve was laying on the sofa, his eyes dilated so much they looked entirely black, and with his tongue poking slightly out the corner of his mouth like a cat. Steve looked a lot less cute now than he did laying in the woods. He reminded Billy of a kid back in his elementary class in Cali, who had to sit on a ridged cushion and was always playing with plastic toy cars. Will got up suddenly, drawing everyone's attention away from Steve.

"We should phone Hopper," he said. Billy sat rigidly in his seat. The Sheriff? Billy had been told of Detective Hopper's involvement in the kids' life, that he had adopted El and saved Byers from the upside-down. But he couldn't forget that Billy had a reputation and that Hopper would be less than impressed to see Billy residing amongst his kids and Steve. But Billy didn't really have much of a say in the matter.

"Do we need him?" Wheeler asked. "We've survived so far."

"Barely," Dustin piped up. "Steve nearly died. We would have died if Billy hadn't helped us. Having Hopper in on it, and Johnathon and Nancy would help us dispose of the Beholder's quicker."

"Well, we don't even know how many are out there. That might have been the only one," Mike countered.

Steve made a slurred noise that caught everyone's attention.

"Is he choking on his tongue?" Lucas asked, more curious than concerned.

"No," Steve said. "Nuh-uh. I had a dream bout em'. Yellow eyes, chompy teeth." He bared his teeth and clamped down on them a couple of times for emphasis.

"He's high, ignore him. Let's phone Hopper."

All the children got up and left for the kitchen. Why they all had to leave to phone one man, Billy didn't know. He did know that he was now alone in the living room with Harrington. There was a pregnant silence, wherein neither boy said anything; Steve mostly because he wasn't one hundred per cent aware of his surroundings; Billy because he didn't know what to say. Should he be a dick, pick and tease him like he normally does? But what's the point in that when Steve won't even remember it by morning. So Billy says the only thing he can think of:

"Do you miss Wheeler?"

Steve turned his head to look at Billy. There was a bruise forming on the side of his face, but it didn't take away from the delicacy of Steve's features. Billy had always thought he looked like a china doll, all clear white skin, big brown eyes, and rosy cheeks. Easily breakable.

"Huh?"

"Nancy, Nancy Wheeler. Do you miss her?" His tone was harsher than he wanted it to be, but Steve clearly didn't notice. He turned back to look at the ceiling, fiddling with his fingers.

"Yeah… I mean, I get it. I'd have dumped me too. I was a donkey-- an ass. But it still stings," he thumped his chest, then winced at what must have been a tender area he hit. "In here," he shrugged his shoulder. "I'll get over it. Just hurts to be around her."

Billy was shocked that Steve had just played his soul out for him. But then he wasn't sure if Steve even knew who he was talking to.

"Whaboutyou?" He slurred.

"What?"

"Do you miss Nancy?" He asked. Billy frowned. "I mean do you miss your girl back in California?" He corrected. Billy sat back in his chair, unsure of how to answer this. He could come out to Steve, tell him everything. There was a part of him that kind of wanted to, but there was the fear that Steve would remember what he said, that he'd use it against him. There was also the worry that one of the brats could overhear him. He knew from experience that children didn't know how to keep their fucking mouths shut.

"I didn't have a Nancy in California," Billy said simply. Steve's eyebrows rose in surprise.

"Really? Surprised Cali girls weren't all over you, I mean, look at you," he gestured limply at Billy's body. What was happening right now?

"You're hot shit." Steve finished.

"Thanks," Billy said, a little stunned. "And I had girls all over me, I did, I just wasn't interested."

"Ooh, player-boy. Hard to get. Nice."

There was another pause.

"What about a Johnathon?" Billy was going to throw up.

"The fuck do you mean?" His voice was weak. He suddenly needed to drink. Drink drink drink.

"I don't judge. I'm not one of them redneck racists you see on TV," Steve said, his voice so casual Billy wanted to hit him.

"D'you mean homophobes?"

"Same thing."

"Not really."

Steve twisted his body so he was laying in a position he could face Billy directly.

"I know Cali is a whole different world than Hawkins. Way more progressive. I've seen pictures of women kissing women and men dressed as women. Lots of girls."

Steve was right, California had begun changing the game in terms of identity, much more than Hawkins at least. Billy immediately went on the defensive.

"I'm not a queer," he said sharply.

"No, no, course not," Steve said, but Billy noticed a twinge of what looked like disappointment in his voice.

"Do I come across that way?" Billy asked, this time genuinely curious.

"I--no, no, I don't know why I asked. Stupid. Course you're not into boys."

Billy wanted to kill this conversation quickly before Billy said something he'd regret.

"Does it hurt anywhere?" Billy asked.

"Yeah. My head, my arms, my legs, my chest. I think my face broke."

Billy found himself letting out a small chuckle, a genuine one at that. The small hole in his heart grew a little bigger, coating the darkness in a thin vein of light. For the first time in ten years, Billy let it grow, and he didn't move to try and close it. No thoughts of Neil crossed his mind at all as he spoke to a drugged up Steve. He felt comfortable talking to him, and not just because he was high. For a moment he let himself believe that he and Steve had a friendship, a relationship in which they can talk freely about their problems. But that was not Billy's reality. He didn't think it ever would be.

The kids walk back into the room, and it's like cold water washing over him.

"We have to go," Mike says.

"What, right now?" Billy asked.

"No, El and I have to go. Hopper wants her home. He says it's too late and he doesn't want any monsters nabbing any of you so you all have to stay here until morning."

"Good, I'm tired," Steve said. Dustin patted Steve's hair.

"Don't worry buddy, you can sleep now. We won't let you swallow your tongue."

"I love you, bro," Steve murmured Dustin looked shocked at the declaration but smiled warmly down at Steve.

"You're such a loser," Dustin said. Billy heard the underlying 'I love you too' in his words.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> He-hay, I hope you enjoyed this chapter!  
Comments are really appreciated.   
I have next to no knowledge of drugs and their effects, so this may be entirely inaccurate.


	6. Chapter six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve's not having a good time

18th January 1985

Steve woke up more sore than he'd ever been in his entire life, but he couldn't for the life of him, remember why he hurt so bad. He was in his own bed, but he didn't know how he got there; he could hear the pitter-patter of footsteps and the low muttering of voices coming from downstairs, but it couldn't be his parents. With great effort, he hauled himself out of bed and into the adjacent bathroom. Wincing under the harsh artificial light, he opened the medicine cabinet and took out his dads prescription painkillers. His dad would hardly notice one or two missing from the pot. He popped both pills, sticking his face under the tap. The cool rush of the water felt incredible against his hot face. He closed his eyes and allowed himself a few moments, where there was nothing else in the world except for the cool rushing water, the sound pounding through his ears.

He turned the tap off and closed the cabinet door, being greeted by his mess of a face staring back at him in the mirror. A fresh bruise had blossomed on the side of his face, next to his eye. He went to touch it, fingers brushing delicately across the blue skin, but memories flooded back to him the moment his fingers made contact.

The forest. The creature: yellow eye, razor edge teeth. The pain, oh my god the pain.

Steve stumbled backwards. Unable to grab onto anything with his suddenly sweaty hands, he could do nothing but brace for impact as he tripped backwards over the bath. In a flurry of panic, he gripped onto the shower curtain, yanking that down with him. The metal bar scraped along the bath wall, leaving an ugly black line. Steve whacked his shoulder blades on the edge of the bath. Steve sat there for a moment, half in half out of the bathtub, the shower curtain wrapped around him like a sarong, wondering what his life had become. The pain he had felt when he woke up had increased tenfold, and he was sure there was going to be a brand new bruise across his back for him to sport.

Suddenly-- the bathroom door flew open and Dustin ran in.

"Steve? Steve, did you die?" He stopped when he saw Steve in the bath, then rolled his eyes exasperated. Steve felt like a child about to be berated by his father.

"It's alright," Dustin shouted. "False alarm!" He walked to the edge of the bathtub, a massive grin on his face. He unravelled the shower curtain from Steve and helped him out of the tub.

"Do you remember what happened yesterday?" Dustin asked as Steve regained his balance. Steve frowned, trying to piece together the fragments of his memory.

"Uh, yeah. I remember going into the forest. That thing was there. Billy was there too. I fought it, but it must have got me. Next thing I know I'm waking up in my bed," Steve relays. Dustin puts a hand on Steve's back and guides him out the bathroom and back to his bedroom.

"The Beholder got you pretty bad. It has some kind of telekinetic powers that allows it to inflict pain on whoever it's looking at without touching them. El disposed of it pretty quickly after it knocked you out. Billy helped us bring you back to your house, where we drugged you," Dustin explained. Steve opened his mouth to demand why they'd allowed Billy Hargrove to help them while Steve had been out cold and unable to protect them, but Dustin held a hand up as if telling him he wasn't finished talking yet. Steve clamped his mouth shut.

"We phoned Hopper and told him everything. We have to go over to his cabin later. The more manpower we have the better our chances are of getting rid of these things-- and before you say anything, Billy will be coming with us."

"But why? He's a dickhead, he hates me, he hates Lucas, he hates his sister. He hates everyone, why did he help you? Why is he still here?" Steve was having a really difficult time wrapping his head around the fact that Billy would actually help them. Dustin looked a little apprehensive.

"Well, he's still a major dick, and we didn't really give him a choice. It was either he help us or we all die out in the forest. He couldn't get out of this even if he wanted to, he's seen too much." Dustin threw open Steve's closet and dumped out all Steve's shirts and shorts onto his bed.

"Get dressed, you have blood all over your clothes. Come down when you're ready." Dustin wandered out of the room, leaving Steve wondering when he'd become the child in their relationship.

Steve dons the first thing he saw, a maroon coloured t-shirt and Kaki shorts, and slowly made his way down the stairs. He could hear the blare of the television from the top of the landing, the chirpy voices of Will and Lucas, and the more reserved whisperings of Max. They all stopped talking the moment Steve presented himself in the doorway.

"You want breakfast?" Max asked, setting her own bowl of cereal down on the coffee table. Steve ran a hand through his unkempt, unwashed hair.

"See you made yourselves at home pretty quickly," he tried to joke, but his voice was weak and devoid of any humour. When no one replied he shook his head in response to Max's question and went to sit on the sofa.

"Mike and El left for Hoppers last night. We got a message from them once they got in telling us they made it with no incidents," Will explained.

"El couldn't sense any more of those things?"

"As far as we know she couldn't."

"Well that's a good thing, right?" Steve said. "There might only be one, and that's dead."

"Unless they can somehow mask themselves from El's influences," Dustin replied solemnly. "I mean, we don't know the full extent of what they can do."

The sparkle of hope that had pin-pricked through the darkness of Steve's mind flickered out, leaving nothing but a grey expanse of hopelessness. The kids finished their breakfasts watching the morning cartoons in a heavy silence. Steve picked up all their bowls and brought them into the kitchen to wash them.

He was just finishing the last bowl when the backdoor opened and Billy walked through. He flicked the butt of his cigarette behind his shoulder onto the garden patio and nudged the door shut with the heel of his boot. The boys made eye contact; Steve was unable to read Billy's expressionless face.

"Harrington," he said. Steve nodded in greeting, then continued scrubbing the cornflakes out of Dustin's bowl. Billy reached an arm over Steve's head. Steve flinched unthinkingly. Billy let out a chuckle and opened the glass cabinet.

"Relax, Princess. Just getting some water," his tone was mocking, but Steve didn't have the mental or physical energy to fight back. Billy waited patiently for Steve to finish washing, and then turned the cold faucet on and filled his glass. He stank of cigarette smoke, so much so that Steve could actually feel it clogging up his lungs. He knew the smell was going to linger long after Billy had gone.

"Jeez, how many did you smoke out there?" Steve asked, wafting his hand in Billy's direction.

"Enough. I had a stressful night."

"Yeah, so did I. You don't see me smoking two packs at once."

"Yeah well, you were knocked out for most of last night."

There was a beat of silence wherein Steve debated whether or not he should thank Billy for essentially saving his life last night. On one hand, Billy was a dick and would undoubtedly not accept the thank-you and just make fun of Steve, and Steve really couldn't be fucked to deal with that right now. On the other hand, Steve wasn't a dick, and thanking someone for saving his life, Billy or not, is the good thing to do. And every day since his first encounter with the otherworldly, in the Byers house with Nancy and Johnathon, he tried to be a better person. Billy shouldn't be an exception just because he himself chose to be the most unlikeable person on the planet.

Steve scratched the back of his neck, working himself up to talk again. He was all-too-aware of Billy's pretty blue eyes staring at him as if he expected a thank-you.

"Uh, I just wanted to say-you know-thanks. For saving my ass out there. If you hadn't the kids' woulda had to drag me out that forest. Probably wouldn't have ended well," Steve said, his voice suddenly quiet and crackling, like a prepubescent little boy. Billy snorted. Steve didn't expect anything more.

"Yeah, no problem Harrington. Was bad enough watching your pretty little face getting fucked up. Wouldn't have wanted to mess that hair up dragging you through leaves." Steve rolled his eyes.

"You know if you're gonna be a dick about everything-"

"Hey." Billy's voice was incredibly soft all of a sudden. Suddenly, Steve was a little kid, being comforted by his dad after falling off his bike and scraping open his knee. Billy's face was still expressionless, but Steve saw the subtle change in the hardness of his eyes: softened ever so slightly, like metal over a flame.

"I'm not tryna be a dick. I'm not good with-fucking, you know. Feelings and shit."

Now Steve was uncomfortable. "You about to profess your undying love for me, Hargrove?" Steve joked, trying to lessen the stifling tension that had built in the air. The softness behind Billy's eyes disappeared, struck by Medusas stare, they were back to stone cold.

"Fuck you, Harrington. I'm no queer," Billy said, clearly on the defensive. Steve stuck his hands up in surrender.

"Alright alright, just trying to lighten the mood."

Billy sighed, reaching for another cigarette. He must have realised he had none left, as he dropped his hand back down to his side.

"Look I'm just saying… maybe we should call a truce. On this…" He gestured between the two of them. Steve's eyebrows shot up and his mouth formed a small 'o'.

"Yeah alright don't get so worked up, we ain't about to become best fucking friends," Billy said.

Shame, something at the back of Steve's mind said. He pushed it away.

"Just sayin' that until these fucking creatures are all gone, we fight on the same side. No good hatin' each other, this fighting will probably get us killed if we don't put it on pause." Billy spoke quickly as if the words had a bitter taste. Steve was surprised by the rationale by which Billy spoke. Out of the two of them, he never thought it would be Billy to initiate the end of this war they had going on between the two of them.

"Yeah, that sounds good. Plus we have this science essay to do together."

Billy scoffed and downed his water. "Yeah, that ain't ever getting done, Harrington."

"But we won't even graduate if we don't-"

"Seriously? You're thinking about school when not twelve hours ago some freaky fucking cyclops monster nearly killed you!" Wow, Billy really was becoming the more level-headed of the two of them. Steve told himself he was just out of it at the moment.

He never had to defend himself to Billy, as right at that moment his phone started ringing. He quickly excused himself and went to answer it. The was a slight distortion before Mike's annoying voice reverberated through the line. Steve had to keep the phone at a distance so Mike wouldn't burst his eardrums.

"I can't hear what you're saying! Calm down!" Steve shouted. By now all the kids and Billy had formed a semi-circle around Steve, trying to listen to what Mike was saying.

"-Get here now! El feels it, she feels it everywhere! Quick!" The phone disconnected ominously. Steve shared a look with all the kids.

"Get your shoes on, we have to go."

The kids were packed and ready within five minutes, and they were all making their way to the Bimmer with great haste. Dustin tried to call shotgun, but Billy shoved him out the way and got into the seat next to Steve before Dustin could begin a protest. Will had his walkie on and was trying to get back into contact.

"What if the Beholder's got to them?" Steve wondered out loud as he started up the car, pulling out his driveway.

"I'm sure the freaky kid'll save them," Billy replied. Steve side-eyed him.

"Her name's El, she's not freaky. She saved all our asses more times than I can count," Steve defended.

"She has magic powers. And she never blinks. That's freaky."

"Yeah well, be glad she can't read your mind. Don't wanna permanently traumatise her."

Billy ignored the quip pointedly. "Stop at the gas station. I need fags," Billy demanded.

"No," Steve drove straight past it. Billy stuck his middle finger right in Steve's face, trying to distract him from the road. Without thinking, Steve clamped Billy's finger between his teeth, biting down, not hard enough to hurt him, but enough to freak him out. Billy yanked his hand away, examining the teeth marks that formed around his finger like a ring.

"What the fuck, Harrington?"

Steve shrugged. "Not into that?"

"Try that again and see what fucking happens."

When Steve pulled up outside Hoppers cabin, he was already standing outside waiting for them. The children practically threw themselves out the doors, running straight past him and through the doors. Steve and Billy both got out after. Steve greeted Hopper with a wave, but Hopper ignored it. He walked right down the porch steps and over to Billy.

"Sir," Billy said. Hopper spat his cigarette out and glared at Billy. Steve watched hesitantly, unsure if he should interject or not.

"The hell you doing here boy?" Hopper demanded. Billy was notorious around Hawkins- small town and all- so it was no wonder Hopper had heard of him. Possibly even taken him in a couple of times for reckless driving or god knows what else.

"Here to help, Sir," Billy responded. Steve noticed a hint of wariness in his tone of voice like he was actually afraid Hopper would lash out at him. They looked at each other for a moment longer, daring each other to break eye contact first, then Hopper gestured for Steve. He walked over to stand by him cautiously.

"Keep an eye on him, Harrington. I don't want him in a room alone with any of the kids. Especially not Sinclair."

Both Steve and Billy tensed at that. Ever since Billy had unofficially joined the party, Steve had noticed a change in demeanour with Lucas. He was quieter, more reserved within himself. It was clear he was afraid of Billy, but Billy had yet to so much as look at Lucas. Whether he didn't want to be vitriolic in front of the kids (not that that stopped him last year) or if he genuinely felt bad about what he did, Steve wasn't sure. But he knew for certain that no matter what Billy felt towards the situation, Lucas wouldn't be getting an apology out of it. Steve guessed things would be left unsaid for a little while longer. But Steve made a silent promise to himself that, once this was all over, he would confront Billy about it.

Hopper left first. Steve tried to meet Billy's eyes, but Billy was staring down at the dying cigarette on the ground. He scuffed some leaves over it and walked into the house. Steve sighed and followed him.

Steve had never been inside Hoppers cabin before. He knew he had refurbished the place so it could be a suitable home for him and El, and Steve couldn't deny that it was cosy, with the three space heaters in the corners of the living room to warm the un-insulated house up. There was a single armchair left, and Steve took up residence in it, leaving Billy high and dry standing awkward and out of place. Chattering could be heard from the kitchen, and Steve tipped the chair back a little to try and see the woman behind the female voice talking to Hopper. He expected Joyce Byers but almost fell backwards out of the chair when Nancy stepped out the kitchen, Johnathon Byers and Hopper in tow. She hesitated when she saw Steve, then completely stopped in her tracks when she saw Billy.

"What is he…?" She started. Billy waved a hand. He was clearly getting bored with the surprised looks.

"I come in peace," he said, though refusing to elaborate fully on his being there.

"Joyce is at work, but will be here by noon," Hopper said, lighting another cigarette. Steve saw the ache behind Billy's eyes and was tempted to nick a couple for him. "

"We'll just have to start without her. El, would you like to start?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whenever I write on my phone, Billy gets autocorrected to 'bully', which, I mean, it's pretty much the same thing.   
I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Ao3 keeps getting rid of all my inflections whenever I paste the writing, so I apologise that the dialogue might not have all of the intended impacts. I'm working on fixing it.


	7. Chapter seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Billy struggles to fit in, and he and Steve have a ~mOmEnT~

17th March 1979

The letter shook a little in Billy's clenched fists as he re-read the words. The blue ink had faded into the paper, leaving some words indecipherable. Billy, however, knew the words off by heart.

My dearest boy, Billy,

Once this letter finds you I will have been long gone. It breaks my heart to leave you like this, so suddenly, and I couldn't bear to leave you without explanation. If I could have taken you with me I would have, but as it stands, your father, he would not take kindly to the both of us disappearing. He does not care for me as he does you. I believe he will look after you.

He is misguided in his affections towards me, but you are only young. You have so much to learn and explore in California that I would hate to have you pack up and go. And your friends. There is more for you there than there ever was me.

I will think about you every day,

all my love,

mom

Billy stared at the paper a little longer, committing his mothers' handwriting to memory, then ripped it in half, quarters, eighths, until the letter was nothing more than scraps of paper. He let it all fall to the floor, watching the pieces drift down like snowflakes. Tears pricked the back of his eyes like needles, but he sniffed and ignored it. His fathers' car door slammed shut, signifying his return from work. Billy made quick work of scraping up the paper pieces, making sure his carpet was spotless. In such a hurry to make himself presentable, he forgot to hide the packet of cigarettes he had recently brought from a senior behind the school bleachers. His dad was turning the doorknob when he realised, and quickly grabbed the packet, shoving it in his back pocket.

Neil came in the room, shutting the door behind him. Billy didn't know why he felt the need to do that, there was no one else in the house, no one to hear Billy crying, begging for a reprieve. He supposed it added to the incontrovertible atmosphere. He tried not to breathe too loudly, unsure what would set him off this time. Billy could tell from his dishevelled hair and unshaven face that he had had a bad day at work; that was why he had come straight up to Billy's bedroom instead of having a coffee first.

"What are you doing?" He demanded as if he had caught Billy doing something unsavoury when in actual fact Billy had been standing at the edge of the bed silently the moment he had entered the room.

"Nothing, Sir," Billy replied, keeping his voice level. His mothers' words echoed in the back of his head. Would she regret leaving if she knew what Neil was doing to the son she claimed she loved so much?

"That's not what I heard. Ms Reynolds told me that she saw you in the middle o some drug deal just last night. You and some boy dealing."

Ms Reynolds that bitch of a next-door neighbour. No wonder her husband left her, the snitch.

"No Sir, she must have been mistaken."

Neil stepped forward, close enough to touch him.

"Don't lie to me boy," he grabbed hold of Billy's arm, yanking it roughly towards him so Billy had no choice but to lean in. Neil's breath smelt sour, like vodka. "You know what'll happen if you lie."

Billy knew it wouldn't be any different if he told the truth, so it was a lose-lose situation. But still, Billy stood his ground.

"It wasn't me… Sir."

A sharp backhand to the face sent Billy reeling. He would have fallen, had Neil not had a firm hand gripping his arm. He was pulled roughly back up. A cry of anguish tried to escape up his throat, but he would not show weakness in front of this man.

"I won't say it again. She saw you, I know you're lying. Tell me, where are the drugs you brought, or have you snorted them already, you little queer?"

Not wanting to lose the cigarettes he had brought, he lied again, a risky move, especially when the contraband was sitting heavy in his back pocket.

"Gone, sir."

"Well then, that just won't do."

Billy lay on his bed, not two hours later, nursing the black eye his father had given him and a makeshift cold pack. Too afraid to go into the kitchen to get the ice, he ran a flannel under the cold tap until it was sufficiently wet and a little cool. Though it warmed up moments after coming into contact with his face, he found the water dripping down his chin and across his nose a grim comfort. He thought he had heard his arm dislocate from his shoulder, but nothing was sticking out, and the pain had succumbed to just a slight throb.

A light tap on his bedroom window roused him off his bed. Teddy's freckled face appeared through the glass, wearing his primary colour block shirt Billy had secretly brought him last Christmas. His many many silicone bracelets covered his right arm all the way up to his elbow (Billy had never seen him without them). He was smiling, as always. Billy opened the window and helped Teddy over his desk and onto the carpet. Teddy threw his arms immediately around his neck, pressing his lips hard against Billy's. Billy tried to reciprocate, but winced and pulled back. Teddy frowned, then noticed the bruise around his eye.

"Again?" He said softly, his voice rising in a question, despite knowing the answer. Billy nodded. Teddy trailed his fingers lightly over the bruise, moving down the side of his face to cup his jaw.

"I'll kill him," Teddy said, his voice tender, his eyes serious. Billy scoffed and sat down on his bed. Teddy sat down next to him, taking Billy's hands in his.

"I'm serious. In his sleep, I'll slip him some sleeping pills. I can't stand seeing you like this."

"You can't stand it? How do you think I feel? This is a constant fucking thing, Ted. You can leave this house. I can't."

"Well, then run away with me. We can get out of Cali, make a new life for ourselves," Teddy beamed as though he had just solved all of Billy's problems.

"Neither of us can drive. We would barely get out of town before Neil notices. I don't want you caught up in this. He'll kill you."

"I'd like to see him try."

"Don't."

Teddy smiled at Billy, his soft face tender, the trace of dimples marking the sides of his lips. He was perfect, Billy thought. An angel sent from the heavens to keep Billy on the earth. Teddy had not cut his hair in two years, his shaggy locks curling into his eyes. Billy was fond of his hair, but he was also fond of seeing his eyes underneath.

"You're still beautiful, Bill," Teddy said. Billy leant forward to kiss him gently.

"Together forever?" Billy asked.

"Together forever."

The two boys spent the evening together, smoking Billy's cigarettes out his window, wafting each others smoke out and into the cool evening air.

18th January 1985

Billy watched from the edge of the room as El relayed what she had felt just an hour ago. He found it strangely surreal to listen to this little girl tell the room that she saw the Beholder in her 'headspace' and nobody seemed even remotely surprised by any of it. He was uncomfortably out of the loop here and struggling to latch onto the words she was saying. Hopper had a protective shoulder on the kid, constantly shooting Billy warning glances despite the fact that he hadn't moved or spoken in ten minutes. He considered excusing himself for a smoke and bailing, but he didn't know the way out of the woods and he didn't fancy getting lost with the creatures roaming around.

From what he could gather, she sensed at least twelve of them in the surrounding area, which he guessed from the concerned looks of everyone, that that was too many for her to take on her own. It felt weird that they were all relying on this child to kill all these creatures.

He turned his head, looking at Steve. He seemed wary, no doubt from having Wheeler in the same room as him. This would have been the perfect time to make a snide comment, just to crumble his resolve that little more, but he couldn't bring himself to do anything but watch him with pity.

"So what she's saying is that we're pretty much screwed?" Lucas said.

"No, what she's saying is that there's a lot of them. But it's nothing we can't handle," Hopper clarified.

"I don't know man, we know next to nothing about the Beholders. Except that Steve won't be able to take one on his own," Dustin patted Steve's leg. "No offence buddy."

"Yeah yeah, real funny. I'll be ready next time," Steve said.

"There's not going to be a next time," Hopper said sternly.

"What? Why?" Mike seemed genuinely disappointed to not get to fight the monsters again. Crazy.

"I'm not letting you kids run out there and almost get yourselves killed again. You got lucky last time. But there's twelve, maybe more out there, and yes, we still don't know exactly what they are capable of. You lot can stay here tonight. When Joyce arrives, the two of us will go to the Lab, see if we can find where these things are spawning from."

The kids all erupted in protests, claiming they're all perfectly capable of fighting.

"Hey, hey! Calm down, the lot of you!" Steve shouted, his voice ringing louder than the kids combined. They all calmed down to look at Steve incredulously.

"Hopper's right, we can't afford to go back out there. At least not until we know their weaknesses, how we can get rid of them. I say we man the fort here. Build blockades in case they can sniff us out or something."

"See, this boy talks sense," Hopper said. Billy rolled his eyes. Hopper caught it, unfortunately.

"You got something to say, Hargrove?" He asked. His tone of voice eerily similar to the one Neil used before hitting him. It sent sickening shivers down his neck. "Why are you even here?"

Billy shrugged.

The crazy girl tugged Hopper's sleeve. "He needs to be here," she said sternly.

"The hell he does."

Billy stuck his hands up. "I can leave if you want. I don't even know why I'm here. Frankly, I don't want to be."

"Then get out," Hopper said. Billy turned to leave, but El made a noise of complaint.

"No. Stay." Her voice was stern enough that it made Billy stop. All eyes were on him, a mixture of wariness and curiosity like they were excited to see what Billy would do next.

"If the kid insists…"

"I insist." The tone was that of definitive clarification. That was it, he guessed he was staying. Hopper looked less than pleased, but he wasn't about to argue with the magic kid; if she said he had to stay, there was obviously a reason for it. Billy didn't much care to find out what it was.

The group started to slowly disperse, Hopper going back into the kitchen to phone Byers. The kids, all together in a group, planned out how they could block the house to the best of their skills; Will had started drawing a blueprint of the house. Billy couldn't deny that the children were serious in their craft. It looked like more of a hobby to them than a life or death situation. For the first time, Billy noticed Steve had disappeared. Wheeler and Byers were talking to each other in hushed tones at the far end of the living room, both casting anxious glances over at Billy. Real fucking subtle. He considered going up to them and asking them where Steve had fucked off to, then asked himself why he cared. He wasn't able to answer his own question, as suddenly Nancy was directly in front of him.

"Jesus, hover much?" He asked, trying to mask the fact that she had made him jump.

"Do you know where Steve went?" She asked, ignoring any pleasantries.

"How the fuck should I know?"

Nancy moved her jaw, agitated. "I don't know, I thought you two had gotten… closer."

A chesty laugh erupted out of Billy before he could stop himself. "Closer? I saved his ass, I own him."

Nancy crossed her arms over her chest.

"Yeah? Well, you're still here for a reason."

"That's cus' the freaky kid told me to stay. I don't want to be here."

"El has a reason, I'm sure. But I get the feeling there's more to it than that," she squinted at him like she was trying to read his thoughts. Billy leaned a little closer towards her, just enough to make her and Byers squirm.

"Don't pretend you know me everything about me, Nancy Drew. You know fuck all. And I don't hit girls, but try that shit on me again, and maybe I'll bend the rules."

Nancy looked annoyingly calm. Billy wasn't surprised that his threat felt empty against all the shit she had been through, fighting monsters and that. Billy couldn't help but feel that the threat felt a little empty to him as well. He wouldn't hit Wheeler, not just because she's a girl, but because she's honestly… A little frightening. Like a lion cub is; cute and fluffy on the outside but can deliver a ferocious bite if provoked. Billy's pride prevented him from stepping down from her gaze. Eventually, she rolled her eyes and stepped back.

"Whatever. Johnathon and I are leaving to get some weapons and make sure my mom doesn't leave the house for the day. Find Steve and tell him, would you?" Billy knew it wasn't a question, but the audacity this girl had to order him-Billy fucking Hargrove-around like a child was… well, he thought it was actually ballsy of her. He could respect her for holding her own ground, he just wished she would do it to someone else, and not make Billy appear soft. Wheeler grabbed Byers' hand and stepped past him and to the door. Byers shot Billy an awkward look and nodded a goodbye at him. Billy snorted; he knew who wore the pants in that relationship.

With nothing else to do, and with every other group already preoccupied, Billy decided he probably should try and find Harrington. Just to make sure he hasn't gotten himself killed. A quick glance in both the bedrooms told him they were empty, so Billy slipped out the front door before it could close properly.

Despite the large mid-day sun, there was a bite in the air, and Billy's leather jacket wasn't doing much to protect him from the chill. Woods surrounded the cabin from every direction. Billy could imagine it looking like the scene of a horror movie at night time. Billy walked around to the side of the house, through a small growth of weeds that hadn't been tended to in a good while. Steve was crouched against the rotting wood of the house, running his hands through his hands over and over again like it was therapeutic.

"Didn't wanna be in the same room as Wheeler?" Billy said. Steve's head shot up at the sound of his voice, then put it back down in his hands.

"Oh. It's just you."

"Yep. Just me," Billy slid down the wall next to him. Steve pulled a single cigarette out of his pocket and handed it to Billy.

"Snuck it from Hopper," he said glumly. Billy stared down at the butt in surprise but took it without thank you, quickly lighting it so he would have to.

"They're both gone now. Fucked off to get weapons or whatever." He said, quickly diverting the subject.

Steve grunted. "They probably won't be back then."

"What do you mean?"

Steve tipped his head back, letting it hit the wall. Billy tried not to notice the way his neck curved up, the bob of his Adam's apple as he swallowed; how easy it would be to lean in and trail kissed up it, to the edge of his jaw, up to his ear, his cheek, down his nose to his stupid cupid bow. Billy shook his head and finished the cigarette off, dropping it and pressing the toe of his boot into it.

"They'll go off, Nancy'll see something and go all detective. They won't come back until it's all over, maybe before that if they find something worth telling us about. Those two-they're their own party. Do their own thing." Steve explained.

"Why are you stropping then? Aren't you happy you won't have to see them?"

"Yeah, I am, but I mean… I was hoping she'd come out and look for me and we could talk."

"You can't just leave and expect her to fucking follow."

"Yeah, think I don't fucking know that now?" Steve snapped. "I don't even know why I'm telling you this. You don't care."

"Yeah, you're right. I don't give a shit about your relationship with Wheeler. I think it's kind of pathetic that it's been so long and you're still hung up on the bitch. You ever heard of a one night stand?"

"I'm not like that. Not anymore. I want my next relationship to mean something."

"Lame. Best way to get over someone's to get on top of someone else. Find someone. Fuck em'."

I'm here, fuck me, was what Billy did not say, but the intrusive thought got to him before he could stop it. Steve snorted, and for a horrific moment, Billy thought he'd managed to read his mind.

"Gimme a list then, I'm sure you've got a lot of girls."

"Here in Hawkins? Nah, fuck that, can't help you there." Steve's eyebrows shot up.

"Really? But you and Kristy?"

"She made all that shit up. We didn't fuck, I didn't even go on a date with her." Billy tried to get himself to stop, stop talking, stop telling Harrington everything. He couldn't afford to slip up and say something that'll hurt him in the long run.

"Why not?" Steve persisted.

Billy shrugged, trying to be as vague as possible.

"Not my type." Doesn't have a dick.

"Huh. Yeah, she's not my type either," Steve said.

"Oh yeah? What's your type then? Prissy stuck up brown-haired girls who cheat?"

Steve shot Billy a glare. He'd really touched a nerve there, but he needed some balance in this conversation. It felt too much like they were two friends having a normal bro-chat, and that just wouldn't do. Steve never answered the question, leaving Billy strangely hopeful that maybe straight King Steve favoured dick as well. It was stupid to have hope in any form, but Billy couldn't help it. Looking at Steve, he could tell he was beginning to fall, for the second time in his life, for someone he couldn't have. A boy, a straight boy, and Steve Harrington at that. Everything about it felt utterly ridiculous, out of a tragic comedy, one that Billy knew was destined to end badly. This time, who knows? Neil could find out Billy's harbouring a crush on a boy, beat the shit out of him, get the name of the boy, beat the shit out of him too. Maybe Neil would kill him, kill them both. Or maybe, Neil would have nothing to do with it. Maybe the creatures got to him, or Steve. Perhaps Billy would be his own greatest downfall. Maybe he becomes too comfortable around Steve, maybe he admits he's fallen in love. Maybe Straight King Steve is so horrifically disgusted by this that he picks up and leaves, tells everyone at school.

Billy wasn't sure which scenario was worse, he just knew that they were the only endings to his tragic story. And if Billy couldn't quash these fucking feelings, he would damn well do a great job of hiding them.

Billy heard the sound of the cabin door open and he shot up and away from Steve. Hopper rounded the corner, a fag perched between his teeth. He looked less than happy. Billy began to wonder if that was just his resting face.

"Come back in, it's too dangerous to be lurking around out here."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this chapter.   
Leave a comment, they make my day!


	8. Chapter eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is a day late, I didn't have time to get it up yesterday

18th January 1985

The house was a bustle of chatter and movement. Since Nancy and Johnathon had left, there were two more empty seats which Steve and Billy took up residence in. Steve couldn't remember hearing Joyce's car pull up, but she was there when he re-entered, hugging the children one by one.

"Hey Mrs Byers," Steve said, waving half-heartedly at her. She smiled and untangled herself from El to grasp Steve's hand between both of hers. She looked up at him, doe-eyed and tired looking.

"Hello, Steve. I want to thank you for keeping the children safe last year," she said.

"Ah, it's no problem, ma'am."

"Call me Joyce, sweetheart."

"Joyce," Steve laughed, a little awkwardly.

Steve saw Billy roll his eyes from the corner of his eye, and pushed the sight of him out of his head. Joyce pulled Steve into a warm hug, her chin pressed into his shoulder. She had a way about her that made everyone around her feel safe and protected. Maybe it was the motherly charm, but his mother was never around enough to feel it from her. He leant onto the short hug and felt a strange emptiness when she pulled away. Everyone gathered in the living room, around Joyce and Hopper, who had an arm around El, making her look very small.

"Johnathon phoned me from the Wheeler's house. They made it there safely, but I warned them not to make the return trip, as they won't be back before dark," Hopper explained. Steve puffed out a breath; he knew they wouldn't be back. But, you know, that was fine, they didn't need them anyway. It was fine. Fine. Steve shifted in his chair, seemingly unable to find a comfortable position. Hopper began speaking again.

"We're going to have to split. And I hate to do this, but as long as you're all here, you'll be safe. Joyce and I are going to the lab. I'm almost certain it's out of use, but these bastards are roaming around here somehow." El was holding fast onto Hopper's arm, her blue bracelet wrapped around his thumb. He bent down and whispered something in her ear, seemingly loosening the tension in her shoulders.

"We'll be back before midnight," Joyce reassured Will.

"Make sure the doors and windows are all locked and barricaded. El, you know the code, you'll be able to tell it's us. If you hear or see anything, do not interact, understand?"

"But I can fight," El insisted.

"I know you can, sweet. Better than anyone. But just until we know how to take these monsters down, you have to stay safe. For me."

El couldn't argue with that. Steve watched from the safety of his armchair as Hopper and Joyce said their goodbyes to the anxious children. Hopper nodded at Steve and stared stonily at Billy, who was thumbing bored at the chain around his neck. Joyce went in for another cack-handed hug, which Steve reciprocated stiffly. She didn't so much as glance at Billy. As soon as the door closed behind them, Mike shot up and grabbed his coat. Steve stood up, hands on his hips, ready to shoot down whatever he was about to do.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Steve said. Mike shot him a look and stuck a finger up.

"Well we aren't staying here waiting for the Beholders to come and kill us," Mike complained. Lucas stood up too, pulling Max up with him.

"Yeah, he's right. We're just sitting ducks in here."

"Yeah, no. You can get comfy cus' you lot are not going anywhere. I will not be responsible for your deaths. Billy and I are gonna keep an eye on you." Steve looked down at Billy, who was still ignoring everyone. Steve pushed his foot.

"Aren't we?"

"Yeah, whatever," Billy glanced up at the children. "I mean, frankly I could care less what happens to you shitheads, but I don't wanna get the blame."

"No! You don't get to boss us around just because you're a few years older. We're leaving and that's final," Mike shouted. Steve paused for a moment; he was tired, he wasn't in the mood to argue with Mike, who seemed very persistent on going out and getting himself killed. He pinched his nose between his thumb and forefinger, trying to take deep breaths and count to ten so he wouldn't just open the door and let them run wild. The only kid that seemed unsure was Will, who was still sitting down.

"Please, don't make me sedate you," Steve said wearily.

"Well-fine. Maybe you went to board the windows and when you came back we were gone."

"No! No, no, no! You, sit down," he shoved a finger at Mike. "And you lot, don't even think about trying to sneak out," he waved his fingers around at the rest of them. "I don't care if you get bored out of your goddamn tiny minds, we are not leaving this house."

Will looked up at his friends hopefully. "We can play D and D to pass the time?" He said.

"We are not playing a board game when there are monsters out there that we need to kill!" Mike shrieked.

"Oh my god keep screaming like that and they'll just come right through the fucking ceiling!" Steve shouted back.

"Yeah well, maybe I want them to so they're not following Hopper or Nancy!"

"You will die! They will KILL YOU!"

"OH MY GOD WILL YOU SHUT UP!" Billy yelled, his voice booming over Mike and Steve. The whole house went deadly silent, the only sounds coming from the whistling wind through the trees. Mike stared at Billy, who was now standing beside Steve, with his mouth agape and bobbing up and down like a goldfish.

"Listen here you bunch of crapweasels." What a start, Steve thought. "You walk out that door, we ain't running to save you. And when the freaky fucking monsters come out of hiding cus' they can smell the B.O, and you start screaming and screaming and begging cus' there are so many of them and you realise you can't take them all on your own, we're gonna sit all nice and safe in the cabin and listen to you get ripped to shreds." Billy crossed his arms over his chest and stared each of the kids back. Steve smirked smugly at Mike, who had folded in on himself out of fear. Steve felt a flash of tenderness towards Billy for backing him up; it shot up in front of his eyes like a bright neon light, catching him off guard. None of the kids said anything for a long while, all casting looks between Steve and Billy.

"What are you, best friends now?" Max asked, clearly not affected by Billy's outburst. Neither boy responded to it, Steve deciding to bask at the moment.

"You heard him," he said, choosing not to defend the children. Today he was playing hard to get. "Will, go get your D and D board. The rest of you, lock all the windows and put some furniture in front of it. Then come back and play the stupid game until we get a call from Hopper." The children sped away to busy themselves with their orders. Will Stood up from the carpet.

"Thanks for that," he said. Steve leant over and mussed his straight hair. Will wrinkled his nose and ducked away from his hand.

"That's alright," Steve said.

"Uh, I wasn't talking to you," Will turned to look at Billy, who looked just as surprised as Steve felt."Thank you for setting them straight. Knowing Mike, he'd already be out there right now hunting them down."

Billy's eyebrows flew up. "Um… You're welcome?" Will walked away, clearly in a better mood, leaving Billy and Steve alone in the living room. Billy shoved his hands in his jean pockets, shifting his feet awkwardly.

"Thank you for that, too. I can't keep all of them in control," Steve said, unconsciously running a hand through his hair.

"Yeah, you'd make a terrible mom," Billy said quietly.

The annoyance Steve had felt towards Billy after their conversation outside had since dissipated, being replaced with something tipping on the edge of fondness for him. Steve nudged Billy's foot with his.

"Fuck you doing?" Billy asked, but there was no bite to your voice. Steve shrugged.

"D'you wanna adopt them? Take them off my hands, I reckon you'd do a better job."

Billy chuckled. "Yeah, I'm gonna pass. Kids aren't my thing."

"Really? Who'd guess."

"Shut up."

There was a pause where both boys met each other's eyes. Steve wanted to ask Billy what he was thinking, whether he felt what Steve was feeling. Was Steve going crazy or could he really see their relationship changing in front of his eyes? Steve inadvertently stepped closer to him, their faces barely a foot apart. Billy's eyes softened under Steve's gaze. Steve had no idea what the hell he was doing, but at that moment, the entire world fell away from him; there were no kids, no monster, definitely no Nancy. It was just him and Billy, watching each other. Steve wondered if Billy was waiting for Steve to say something, make some kind of move, but Steve had forgotten how to do anything except for breath heavily and drag his eyes across Billy's face. He lingered a painfully long moment on his slightly parted lips. Why? Steve wouldn't be able to provide a proper answer, but once again his mind trailed away with him, and he imagined what it would be like to press himself up against Billy, catch his bottom lip between his own.

"Harrington, I'm not-" But Billy never could finish his sentence, as there a loud thud sounded from above them. Steve looked up at the ceiling, that was strangely curved downwards.

"Is there an upstairs?" He asked. Billy shook his head, also examining the ceiling. Shouting came from the other room, and Mike and Dustin ran back into the living.

"Here! Code red they're here they're here!" Dustin shrieked. Steve immediately going on the defensive.

"What? Where?" He ordered. Dustin rapidly pointed in the general direction of the back.

"In the woods. Big fucking yellow eyes!"

Steve looked at Billy, wide-eyed, but Billy was still glaring up at the bent ceiling. "Um, okay. Have you boarded everything up?" They both nodded. "Go, go get some weapons, anything you can hit something with."

"But they can hurt without touching," Mike said.

"Don't you think I know that! Just… don't look em' in their eye. Eyes."

The ceiling groaned. The wood splintered and shards fell into Steves hair. He realised what was happening a split second too late.

The entire ceiling caved in. Steve practically flew out of the way, shoving Dustin and Mike as far out of the way as he could get them. The wood and the dust had created a separation between the two halves of the house. Steve pushed his shirt up to cover his mouth from the splinters and dust.

"Billy!" He tried to shout through, but he didn't get a reply.

"SHit shit shit shit shit," Dustin panted. "D'you think he got crushed?"

"Shut up," Steve hissed. He squinted through the mess. Something shifted underneath the collapse of wood.

"Billy?"

Wood exploded everywhere and Steve covered Dustins head with his hands, screwing his eyes shut. A blood-curdling screech rocked the sides of walls. Dustin was breathing rapidly and shakily. Mike had run back into the other room, undoubtedly to warm the others. Steve pushed Dustin away from him, into the kitchen.

"Go," Steve shouted. Dustin looked at him panicked.

"Go!"

Steve watched Dustin disappear, then turned around slowly. He knew the creature was there, saw it before he had even turned.

Don't look it in the eye. Don't look it in the eye.

It stood taller than the one in the woods by at least three feet. It's mouth looked carved into the fleshy black face, unable to close and dripping ichor. Steve focused on its gangly arms that ended in razor-sharp yellowish-green talons rather than its eye, which he could feel burning into his head.

"Oh shit," Steve muttered. He had nothing to defend himself with, and he couldn't risk going into the kitchen in case the kids were all still in there. The Beholder advanced on him slowly, its limbs dragging behind him as if he had been injured from the fall through the roof. He backed up until he hit the wall. What he wouldn't give to have the nail-bat on hand or a sharp knife. Anything other than his painfully bare hands. He was too aware of the fact that he had never once one a fight he had been in, and the negative thoughts were not serving him well at that moment. The Beholder let out a low moan that rippled through the air and sent goosebumps up his arms. Steve shuffled along the wall, trying desperately to find Billy through the haze of wood. A small part of him wondered if he hadn't managed to get out of the way in time, and that Steve would see a loose limb poking out from underneath the rubble. Steve didn't know why he ached at the absence of not knowing if Billy was alright, but he didn't have time to dwell on that.

He kicked at a piece of wood, its edge jagged and serrated, a couple of small nails poking out of the sides. Steve bent sideways to pick it up, his eyes not leaving the Beholders torso. It growled a horrid wet sound that sounded choked up from the back of its throat. It hacked and hacked, the horrific noise getting louder. Steve held the shard of wood in front of him with both hands, loose sharp bits of the wood piercing his palms. He could feel sweat begin to bead atop his hairline. The Beholder hacked one last time, a sound Steve could only compare to a really ill dog about to regurgitate its food. Black spit flew out of its stretched mouth, hitting Steve on his arms and face. The specks began to fizzle and burn on his skin, foul-smelling gas filtering out of it and making him gag. Steve yelped and tried to wipe the black off on his shirt, but it was too late because his arms and he assumed his face had begun to bleed and blister.

He stumbled over the masses of wood and broken furniture, trying to create a forcefield between him and the Beholder. In the distance, he could hear the familiar shrieks of more of them, how many, he couldn't pinpoint. It sounded like a massacre though, and he sent a prayer to whatever God was watching that all the kids were alright and safe. Steve didn't give them enough credit; they were strong kids, they could hold their own against the supernatural. And they had Eleven, who could hold her own against literally anything.

Steve managed to clamber over to the other side of the room, where Billy had been. He was nowhere in sight, however, not even under the wood. The door was within arms reach when he felt a talon grab hold of his ankle.

"Fuck!" He yelled, unable to stop himself as he was pulled backwards. He threw the wood, not wanting to land on the sharp nails, and chucked his hands out in front of him to protect his face from the fall. He struggled to turn sideways, scrabbling to get a look as his assailant dragged him.

Shit fucking shit shit he was going to die he was going to fucking die. This was the second time in under a week that he'd been at the clutches of these creatures, but this time there was no one around to save him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter


	9. Chapter nine

18th January 1985

Billy knew something was very wrong the moment he saw the ceiling begin to dip inwards, like a fat man sitting in a hammock. At first, he thought he was making it up in order to push the feelings for Steve bubbling up within him away, to try and forget their lingering eye contact, and the pressuring ache to slam him up against the wall and kiss him. He was about to tell Harrington he wasn't queer, a lie he was struggling to uphold when he saw the first bend of the already rotting wood. Two of the kids ran out from the kitchen, screaming something unintelligible that Steve managed to understand. The boys were having a back and forth while Billy watched the ceiling curiously. He watched as the first piece of wood cracked, bits of it falling and dusting Steve's hair.

"Oh, shit-" Billy tried to warn him, but it was too late, as the ceiling above them collapsed. Billy threw himself in the direction of the front door, covering his head with both arms to shield his head (and hair) from the wood and floor. His arms make contact with the rug by the door. It rolled up as he slid, eventually hitting the door. He lay there for a moment, listening to the final creaks and crashes of the roof as it piled into a heap in the middle of the cabin. He got to his feet slowly, vision obscured by the eruption of sawdust. He could no longer see through to the other side of the house; Harrington and the kids were nowhere in sight. About a million thoughts rushed through his head all at once: what if Steve had been crushed by the falling wood? Should he have pushed him out of the way? Is Harrington even capable of handling himself without supervision?

Billy had no time to think on the matter, as he heard the familiar growl of the Beholder. He threw the door open and ran out into the chilly afternoon. He could see then that the entire middle section of the roof had collapsed entirely inwards, with pieces of jagged wood jutting out at strange angles from the top of the hole. The only parts still intact were the edges around the perimeter. There was a strange silence that filled the forest. It creeped the fuck out of Billy.

He remembered Steve ordering the kids into other rooms to block the exits, and he wondered momentarily if any of them were still in the house, or if they'd managed to escape. He let himself worry about Max for a second, but he also let himself panic, that if something had happened to her, Neil was not going to be happy. He couldn't afford to think of Neil at that moment, he was in enough shit for not coming home last night as is.

he traipsed around to the back of the house. The kids had done a decent job of blocking the windows up; he wouldn't be getting through there without alerting the creature. Time was of the essence, Billy knew that. And he knew he had to either find the kids or find a way back into the house.

He heard rustling from behind some trees a bit away from the back of the house, followed by some hushed voices. Billy followed the sounds and found all the kids and Max crouched in a circle. Curly-haired Dustin was the first to spot him. He shot to his feet and flashed Billy a gummy smile.

"You're alive!" He exclaimed. "We were so sure you had died when the house caved in."

"Nope, still kicking, unfortunately. But we have to go back in."

"Why?" Mike asked. The little shit. Crazy girl was holding tightly onto his arm, blood dripping from her nose.

"Why? Because Harrington's still in there, facing that monster on his own," Billy said.

"Oh shit, it'll kill him," Dustin said.

"Yeah, so if your witch could just get us in the house and kill that thing, we can all leave."

"Since when did you care what happened to him?" Max asked, pointing Billy with an accusing look.

"I don't care what happens to him," Billy lied, "or any of you for that matter. I just don't want Hopper to stick me with the blame if any of you fuckers die."

They all stood up, Bowl-hair Will staying further back than the others, visibly nervous. A loud screech shook the leaves off of the trees.

"Okay, El will move the furniture from the window and let us all back in. From there, Billy will find Steve if he hasn't already gotten himself killed while we all hold the Beholder off," Mike planned. Several more sickening cries sounded off further off into the forest.

"Hurry," Will hissed.

El and Mike took the lead, parading the group confidently towards the back of the house. Max strode just as confidently next to Sinclaire, their hands brushing slightly occasionally. Billy wanted to yank them apart, to keep them separated. He didn't like to see his baby sister holding hands or being romantic in any way. As much as he didn't show it, he was afraid for her, for Neil could do if he ever found out she had started dating. He knew Susan wouldn't allow it, but if Susan wasn't home…

El lifted her hand up, using her other to wipe the blood away, and the fridge on the other side of the window crashed through the glass. The fridge hovered in the air for a moment, before she chucked it to the side. Billy watched as it landed in a bush with a thud.

"Be careful of the glass," Will said as they became to climb through the broken window. None of them seemed to hear him, so Billy, feeling sorry for him, nodded at the boy. Will gave him the ghost of a smile and crawled through the window. The house was dead silent.

"Maybe Steve killed it," Sinclair whispered hopefully.

"Maybe Steve got himself killed and it's feasting on his body as we speak," Dustin quivered. Max hit him in the side.

"Don't be insensitive."

Billy pushed through to the front of the group. El prodded him in the side. He quirked an eyebrow at her.

"Dangerous," she said.

"I know, that's why I'm going first." She stood back, allowing Billy through despite Mikes complaints. Billy rolled his eyes pressed one hand against the wall. Steve was nowhere in sight, nor was The Beholder. A sinking feeling invaded Billy's stomach, and he could do nothing but stand there and feel as his heart dropped out of his ribcage and down to his belly button. He ran a hand across the back of his neck, much like what Harrington would do whenever he was nervous. Billy swore at himself for knowing that and dropped his hand quickly.

"Shit shit shit shit shit," Dustin chanted, running past Billy and going to kneel by the pile of wood, digging through it. Will ran to put a hand on his shoulder.

"Stop, Dustin don't you'll hurt yourself," he said. Dustin's shoulders slumped over, and his curly hair fell in front of his face, obscuring what Billy knew were the start of tears. Dustin looked much how Billy felt, except he didn't have the luxury of showing it.

"H-how could he just be gone?" Sinclair asked.

"He and The Beholder are just gone? That can't be possible," Max said.

"Yeah well, it is," Dustin spun around, shaking Will's hand off of him.

"No, I mean why would The Beholder run off with Steve? If it killed him, wouldn't it just leave the body and run?"

"So, you're saying Steve's still alive?" Mike said.

Max shrugs. "Possible. I think it's more likely than it killing Steve then deciding it likes him enough to take him back to its house to show to its other buddies." Everyone shot her a surprised look. Max shrugged again, nonchalantly. Mike turned to Billy, who was very absent from the conversation. His mind had wandered; all he could think about was the possibility of Harrington alone, surrounded by those things, afraid, unsure if anyone is coming to help him. Billy hated himself for feeling this strongly, but he couldn't help it.

"Your sister is a helluva lot more useful than you," Mike said.

"Well, maybe I should go then, let you walk into the dark forest and get yourselves torn apart by those things while I hang back and wait."

"Well, it's not like we need you."

Billy crossed his arms over his chest and rested his weight on his right foot.

"Right. And remind me again… who saved all your asses just a couple days ago?"

"Yeah well, it's not like we need you to drive us anywhere anymore. We have El."

Billy looked at the girl, who hadn't said more than a few words.

"You let this kid talk for you?" Billy asked, his voice harsh. El looked at Mike, then stepped away from him.

"Need you," she said.

"See, told you."

"El think about this. He's a major jackass," Mike said, not trying to lower his voice or anything. El frowned.

"No, we need him," she insisted. Mike sighed.

"Fine, whatever. I trust you." Billy saw Mike's resolve crumble under the gaze of the girl. Ah, so there was something going on between these two then. No self-respecting thirteen-year-old boy would let a girl tell him what to do. He clearly cared about her. It was cute, Billy supposed.

"So how are we supposed to find Steve then?" Will asked. "They could be anywhere in the forest."

Max looked at El.

"Your powers. You can find him right?"

El looked warily at her. "Yes." It was an uncertain answer.

"What do you mean you can find him?" Billy asked.

"I can find him," she responded. That wasn't much of an answer, but it was the most he was going to get. Mike leaned in to whisper something incomprehensible to her, and she nodded her head firmly. He pulled her into a tight hug, pressing his forehead against her neck.

"Find something to blindfold her with. Billy, get the radio out of the car."

Billy didn't ask questions and made quick work of running to the car and detaching the portable radio, bringing it back to the kids. El was sitting down, wrapping a tea towel around her eyes. Max snatched the radio out Billy's hands and turned it on, turning it until all could be heard was static. She placed it in front of El.

Silence. No one said anything, everyone watching the girl with anticipation. A drop of crimson fell from her nose onto the dead leaves in front of her. After what felt like hours, and with the first ign on sunset peeking out from over the trees, El yanked the blindfold off.

"I found him," She said. Mike placed a hand on her shoulder, waiting for a moment as she caught her breath.

"How is he? Is he alive? Is he hurt?" Dustin asked all the questions Billy was thinking. Max knelt in front of her and dabbed gently.

"He is alive. He is awake, but he is afraid. So scared. And hurt. His ankle, I think, is twisted, and his face."

Billy turned away, worried his emotions have come out on his face. Stay strong, you have a reputation to keep, he told himself.

"Well, I mean, we have to go then, right now. Who knows what they could do with him," Dustin hurried. Everyone stood to attention, poised and ready for battle, except for Will. As everyone went over strategies, Billy wandered over to the kid, as he stood back, bouncing from foot to foot. Billy had no idea why he was doing this, consoling other people was way out of his comfort zone, but he felt that if he was going to be around these brats for another life or death evening, he might as well play nice for the moment.

"Um, you good?" He asked. Will looked up, a little surprised then sighed.

"not really. I just… I don't want this to keep happening. It wasn't even half a year ago when they did this with the Demodogs and nearly died. I wasn't really there for that one, but I'm here now and I'm no fighter," Will said.

"Demo…dogs?"

"It's a very long story."

"Right, well. You don't have to come."

"No, I have to go, I have to fight with them. I can't look… weak."

"You're not weak for not wanting to go into the middle of a forest and fight a bunch of Supernatural monsters."

I just feel it. I mean last year I was possessed," Will saw the look on Billys face. "Ah, that's a long story too. But the year before that I was stuck and helpless in the Upside-down. I've never fought alongside them before. I've always been the one that needed saving."

"Well if it means anything to you, you held up a lot better than Harrington did. I mean, five minutes up against one of them and he was dead meat," Billy joked through the anguish he felt. At the same time, he felt an odd kinship to this little boy who felt so lost and out of the loop.

Will's laugh was dry and devoid of any humour.

"I'm just afraid that I won't be able to hold my own. I don't want El to have to do all the heavy lifting."

"I'm hoping we won't have to do much of any fighting. I just wanna get in, get Harrington and get out again without too much disturbance. We don't know how many of them there will be, but if it makes you feel any better, I feel a little hopeless here too. Out of place," Billy admitted, feeling a little too comfortable around the boy.

"You've only been part of the party for a couple of days. Before then we all hated you."

"I'm part of your party?" Billy asked flabergasted. Will shrugged.

"You're here, with us, willing to lay down your life to save another party member. I think you qualify."

A party member he nearly killed last year. If Billy didn't have all these horrible, awful feelings for Steve, he wouldn't be here, and Steve may have died. But here he was, a place he never in all his time in Hawkins thought he'd be, talking to a thirteen-year-old about the fucking monsters their about to go up against in order to save Steve fucking Harrington. His life was laughable. Unbelievable. Bat shit crazy to Billy.

The rest of the group re converged with Billy and Will, with some pathetic excuse for a plan. Mike suggested splitting up, which Billy thought was the worst idea he had ever heard, but they somehow managed to convince him that it would be the quickest solution. They split off into three groups: Max and Sinclair, Mike and El, and Dustin, Will and Billy. There was one person in each group that had a walkie talkie so they had communication and another person who could hold their own in a fight. Billy was less than impressed that Max was with Sinclair, but he was even more unhappy with the fact that he had to drag behind two kids. Will, who had just freaked out about fighting a big bad, and Dustin, who seemed pretty fucking useless. He did not want to be responsible for their deaths.

They tested their talkies, and the code they'll use when they find the nest, or if they need to retreat. Then, with some final goodbyes, they all split off in different directions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My upload schedule has been very off recently. My summer has been hectic recently, with getting my GCSE results back and the HEAt oh my god, British weather sucks ass. As I type this, I'm sitting in my 30degree living room with two fans going, trying not to die, but I wanted to get this chapter out now.   
I hope you're enjoying this story so far.


	10. chapter ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, in all honestly, this chapter nearly killed me. I wrote, re-wrote scrapped, wrote again. I honestly don't know why it was so fucking hard but this chapter was seriously tough to write. I'm sorry for the abrupt ending, I genuinely lost so much inspiration for this chapter. The pov change is a bit random as well because I totally forgot how to write Steve.

18th January 1985

Steve

Steve hated his life. He hated his inability to throw a decent punch in a fight, and his ability to faint under frightening circumstances.

He was aware of three things from the moment he woke up:

First, it was almost completely dark, the only light source being the occasional flickering of burnt ochre through the trees.

Secondly, he was in the forest, that much was clear, the trees baring towards him in every direction was a big clue. Where in the woods was completely lost to him? He didn't recognise it, but then again, most parts of the forest look the same.

Finally, he was pretty sure he was going to die.

He struggled to stand up, his knees buckling almost immediately as he tried to straighten them. His ankle burned and pricked and stung and forced him back down again. Suppressing a quiet groan of pain, he pulled his sock down to examine his ankle. Painful to the touch and swollen, he pressed his head back against the rough tree bark.

The quiet frightened him more than the darkness or the impending thought of one of the creatures showing up at any moment. They took him for a reason, right? Or maybe it just took him for a midnight snack later on, and it preferred its food freshly murdered. He thought that if he really focused, he might be able to hear the distant rustle of a rabbit in a bush, or maybe, just maybe, his goddamn friends coming to help him.

He sighed, chastising himself for thinking like that. He didn't even know if they were okay. He was sure Dustin and the rest of the kids had managed to get out alright, with El's help, but where did that leave Billy?

"Ugh," he groaned softly, both from the pain and the fact that the only thing he seemed to be able to think about was Billy if he was alright if he was hurt if he was worried about him too.

A low growl came from Steve's left, pushing every other thought out of his head. The large yellow eye peaked in between two trees like a neon sign. He looked away quickly, staring down at the leafy ground.

Don't look at it, for the love of God don't look.

And then, eyes everywhere. Like the forest had come alive. Everywhere Steve looked, a yellow eye stared back at him. They were all watching, waiting, none of them moving or blinking. It was as if they were waiting for Steve to make the first move. But he couldn't. He could barely stand, and with his busted ankle, he would be doing no such walking or running. He was as good as dead.

***

Billy

Billy took up the front of his group, Dustin and Will trailing a few steps behind him per his request. Dustin kept switching his walkie-talkie on and off, the static beeping being one of the only sounds, save for their footsteps crunching along the dry leaves and twigs. Will was dragging his feet along the ground, his hands shoved in his body warmer pockets. Billy was flipping a plank of wood up and down anxiously, keeping a keen eye around him for any sign of life.

Beep, hiss, click. Beep, hiss, click. Beep, hiss-

"Would you stop that!" Billy whirled around to hiss at Dustin. He clicked the receiver off and dropped his arm sulkily.

"If you keep switching it off you won't hear the other guys alerts," Will said. Dustin jogged the couple steps up to Billy, leaving Will alone at the back of the group.

"This is hopeless," Dustin cried. "We're never gonna find him! The woods cover the entire perimeter of the town."

"Real optimistic, Henderson," Billy replied. Dustin chucked his head back dramatically, his hat tipping slightly off his head.

"You drop that it's staying there. We can't afford to lose any more time."

Dustin looked at Billy curiously. "I know you've been hanging around with us a lot the past few days, but do you really care about Steve enough to give this much of a shit? I mean, you did try to kill him last year."

Billy went on the defensive straight away, squaring his shoulders and tensing and untensing his jaw.

"Listen to me you shitbird. I could up and leave right fucking now if I wanted to, but then your death would be on my hands and I can't be fucked to deal with that."

Dustin stared at him for a moment, before scoffing. Normally, with a tone like he just had, Billy could put the fear of god into a twerp like Henderson.

"Tch'yeah, okay then."

Billy shoved Dustin away from him, making him stumble a bit. Will reached out quickly to steady him so they wouldn't have to stop walking.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Billy demanded. Dustin shrugged.

"I'm just saying, you've been making these bullshit excuses as if we wouldn't be able to survive without you when we spent the last two years surviving perfectly well without you. So I reckon you should cut the crap and tell us why you're really out here risking your neck for Steve," He nudged Will, who looked like he wanted to shrivel up. "Don't you think?"

Will stammered out an answer. "I don't really think it's any of our business."

Dustin made a noise of fierce disagreement. Billy rolled his eyes, not able to believe that they were walking through a monster-infested woods and Dustin wanted to talk about his relationship status with Steve. What was worse was that he was getting uncomfortably close to discovering Billy's real reason for sticking around. He needed to steer the kid away from this subject, and fast.

"Wait, do you hear something?" Billy said, slowing down to a crawl. Dustin stopped and cupped a hand around his ear, like that would actually help. Will pressed a hand to the back of his neck. After a moment, Dustin started walking again, seemingly unfazed.

"I couldn't hear anything. Maybe you're hearing things, like the voices in your head telling you that you don't give a shit about Steve."

"Hey, you don't know shit about anything going on in my head," Billy retorted.

"Yeah, enlighten me, tough guy," Dustin sighed then, weary and defeated. "Listen, dude, Steve's like my annoying big brother, I just want him happy. And safe, preferably not eaten by The Beholders. If you're here cus you care, then that's great. But if you're here to get some sort of freaky thrill out of watching him get beat up or something, then just go, we really don't need you that bad. In case you haven't noticed, El has superpowers."

Billy knew he'd been cornered by the kid, and while he'd sooner blow his brains out than admit to Henderson that he may be falling in love with Harrington, he got the feeling that he wouldn't give up until he got a satisfying answer.

"Wow, since you seem so desperate for a fucking answer… I'm not here out of some obligation, or to get a cheap thrill. I… like Harrington. Okay? Does that fucking satisfy you? I don't wanna see him ripped apart or eaten."

"You like him… in a gay way?" Henderson asked curiously. Kid just wouldn't let it go.

"No, I'm no queer!" Billy said out of instinct more than anything else. Will finally spoke up, for the first time in a while.

"Is it a bad thing? Being queer?" He asked. Billy blinked down at him.

"Um, no? It's just rare. And I ain't it," he clarified. Will nodded like that pathetic answer gave him everything he needed and more.

Billy said a little quietly like he wasn't speaking to anyone but himself: "Even if I was, it's not like he'd be interested."

Dustin was about to say something in response to that when Billy really did hear a noise. A cry coming from the groups left. They all stopped. One beat, two, three. The cry came again, louder this time, and sounding unnervingly human.

"Oh shit, Steve!" Dustin shouted, running in the direction of the noise. Billy grabbed Will's hand and started off sprinting to follow Dustin. as they got closer to the source, the cry came again. This time Billy recognised Steves' voice.

"HELP! FUCKING HELP!"

Billy dropped Wills' hand once he caught up to Dustin, then quickened his pace to overtake him.

"Stay there!" Billy ordered. Dustin, who had slowed to a tired jog, started to protest.

"No! No, you stay the fuck there. Go and find the others, do whatever, just do not follow me. Do you understand?" Neither boy said anything.

"Do you understand!?"

They nodded their heads and Will grabbed Dustin's sleeve and pulled him in the opposite direction. Billy turned back around and started running towards Steves' voice. He ran faster than he ever had, barely able to feel his feet touching the floor before they were back in the air again. The wind whipped his hair across his eyes, his cheeks, like strikes to the face. His eyes stung and watered, he could barely see three feet in front of him. He prayed Will had gotten them both far enough away, that they were radioing the others and telling them.

He ran straight into the lion's den.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked the chapter, although I wouldn't blame ya if you didn't. On a different note, I've started writing some Harringrove Oneshot. The first one will be posted right after this. I decided I wanted to write some short Steve and Billy stories on the side of this story. Check it out if you'd like, and leave some suggestions for Oneshots I could do later :)


	11. Chapter eleven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> oh my god an update!

11th July 1980

"You alright faggot!" Billy flagged down the new boy in school with a jeer and spat on the ground. The boy, slender, with thick-rimmed glasses too large to keep on his small nose without tipping sideways, clutched his Spider-man comic and sped through the gates quickly. Jimmy slapped Billy hard on the back.

"Nice one, Bill!" He cheered, taking a drag of his cigarette before stamping out on the ground. Billy nodded, not quite hearing him, too focused on the gnawing guilt he felt inside him. What was that boy going to do once he got home? Cry alone in his bedroom over Billy, like Billy did whenever his father called him the same thing? Except Billy didn't know if the kid was queer or not, he just knew that it was a terrible, terrible thing to be, and everybody knew it. From the corner of his eye, Teddy sat on the wall just outside, watching Billy. He didn't need to see the expression on his face to know it was one of sadness and disappointment. Billy scrunched his eyebrows together and quickened his step. Jimmy and the other boy, Luke or Larry or something-Billy didn't care to remember his name-followed behind him. Billy didn't want to think about Teddy, not anymore, it hurt too much and brought him too much anger. His dad was right, his dad had always been right; it was dirty, filthy, disgusting, and Billy should never consort with the likes of Teddy.

Billy was no fag, Neil had made very sure of that last month.

School was a drag. Like always. Billy entered each class tardy and left each class with detention and a slip for Neil to sign. He'd sit under the bleachers with boys he couldn't care less about and smoke and slur at every passer by. Then he'd go home and Neil would scatter bruises on him and make him recite the same phrase over and over again with every blow.

I am no fag, I am no fag, I am no fag.

Wash, rinse, repeat.

He didn't think it was possible for his life to get any worse until Billy came home after a particularly shitty day of school (Teddy tried to strike up a conversation with him during science to which he did not take very well. Two smashed conical flasks and a couple swears later, he'd been suspended and Teddy couldn't possibly hate him more if he tried) and he found an unfamiliar car parked next to Neils.

Fucking great, he thought, Neil had decided to bring his whore to the house this time. He dragged his feet up the stairs, already playing the beating he'd get from being suspended in his head. Chattering came from the kitchen; Neil, a woman, and then a younger voice, a child. Billy dropped his bag and sauntered into the kitchen, leaning his shoulder on the side of the door. Neil stood on one side of the kitchen counter, talking animatedly to a middle-aged woman Billy had never seen before. A tiny, red-headed girl stood next to her, gripping her arm hard. Billy and the girl locked eyes and Billy curled his lip and sneered at her. She squinted, not fazed. Billy cocked an eyebrow in surprise. Well, that was new.

Once Neil decided it was an appropriate time to acknowledge Billy's existence, he took the womans hand in his with such a sickening tenderness it made Billy want to punch both of them. He was never that gentle with his mother. Neil smiled saccharinely at Billy.

"Billy, this is Susan. She and her daughter, Maxine, are going to be living with us from now on." Susan stuck her hand out at Billy and smiled a real, genuine smile. Billy looked down at the hand as though she'd just sneezed into it, then turned his head to reject her. Surely Neil wouldn't kick up with his new girlfriend and her brat standing right there. Billy watched Neil tense his jaw, his smile fading.

"Shake Susan's hand, Billy." The words weren't as demanding and rough as usual, but it was enough to instill the fear in him. He shook her hand briefly, making a point of smiling at her sarcastically.

"Now say hello to your new sister."

"New sister!" Billy couldn't stop himself.

"Yes, Maxine is your new sister, Billy, don't be so dense." Neil forced a laugh for Susan's benefit. She looked immensely uncomfortable, clearly spying the building tension. Billy stuck his hand out to Maxine, who high-fived him instead.

"Hey," she said, her voice lower than he was expecting, and just as disinterested and unhappy as he had been feeling.

"Alright, Susan and Maxine, you can get unpacked, Billy, piss off, I'll talk to you later." His voice may have been filled with jest, but the look he gave Billy was anything but. Oh, they were going to talk later, and Billy wasn't sure if he'd walk out of this one.

He slung his backpack over one shoulder and hauled ass up the stairs and to his bedroom. The door was shut, which was strange, as he had left it open ajar as per the request of Neil. He dropped his bag on his bed and was about to throw himself next to it when something clamped around his ankle. He yelped and kicked at the hand holding him. It let go straight away and Billy pressed himself against his wall, reaching for his lighter.

Teddy crawled out of the small space under his bed, both hands up in surrender.

"It's only me. I'm sorry, I thought it was your dad." He said.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Billy asked more out of shock than anger. He quickly closed his door again, twisting the lock shut and praying that Neil would be too occupied by the girls to come up right then.

"I had to see you. I haven't seen you in weeks."

"Not true. You saw me in science."

"That wasn't you, Billy." He tried to step closer, but Billy clicked the lighter and held it up in front of him threateningly. They both knew it was an empty threat. Billy would never hurt Teddy.

"You have to leave. You can't be here. I-I don't want you here."

"I don't think that's true. He's controlling you, manipulating you. Please, Billy." He held his hand arm, willing Billy to give him the lighter. Billy wavered slightly but didn't give in.

"No that's not true. He's the only one telling me the truth. You-you're the on manipulating me!"

"Billy, stop. I see what he does to you. You think you can hide the scars from everyone else, but not me. I know you, and I know this isn't you. You aren't this angry, hateful person. It's him, it's all him."

Billy felt the prick of tears and silently cursed himself for being so weak. But he saw Teddy had begun to cry too, and he couldn't deal with that, so he dropped the lighter into his hand.

"You have to go," Billy whispered. "If he hears you, he'll hurt you too."

"Oh-" Teddy dropped the lighter and pulled Billy into a tight hug. Billy had never felt so safe in that one moment, with Teddy's arms wrapped around his, his brown sweater soft against his neck.

"Oh, Bill. Run away with me."

"You can't have anything to do with me, Ted. You have to hate me, why don't you hate me, I've been so horrible to you, you're supposed to hate me." Billy mumbled.

"You know I could never hate you, and I know you're acting out to get me to leave, but I won't. I can't leave you here, with this monster."

"He has a family now. This Susan woman, and her kid. Maybe he'll leave me alone now." Billy said, more to himself, trying to convince himself that Neil will be too preoccupied to give a shit about Billy.

"Maybe he will. But please, don't try and get rid of me, I want to help, I want to be here for you, even if I can't stop it."

Billy nodded, aware of the fact that if he tried to speak he would begin to cry.

"And I promise, as soon as we turn eighteen, we'll get the fuck outta here."

"Where will we go?"

"Anywhere we want."

18th January 1985

The trees thickened and compacted closer together the further in Billy ran. The woods became shrouded in darkness, not even a flicker of light breaking through. He hopped spryly over a tree stump, his toes barely grazing the deadwood. Once he entered the clearing, light opened up again. The trees bent inwards, forming a dome around Billy. And slumped against one of them, Steve sat. He was breathing heavily, clearly in some sort of pain. He met Billy's eyes and Billy started towards him, but he held up a shaky hand.

"Don't!" He called. Billy stopped in his tracks.

"Wha--"

"LOOK OUT!"

Billy spun around a fraction of a second too late. The Beholder pounced on him, sending him careening towards the floor. Unable to break his fall, Billy tensed his shoulders and braced for the impact. The Beholder snarled down at him, showing off its rows of teeth. Billy turned his head to the side to avoid looking into its eye, and tried to manouver his left leg out from underneath it. He heard motion from next to him, but The Beholder had his shoulders pinned so tightly to the ground, he was paralysed from the chest up. He kicked outwards, his leg breaking free. He brought his leg up and pounded it into the side of its flesh using the edge of his boot. The sharp metal scraped along its body and it let out a small gurgle. Despite the fact that it was barely affected by the attack, it gave Billy the leeway he needed to free his arm and bring his elbow down into its open eye. It screamed, a high pitched sound, unlike anything he had heard from the creatures before. It tumbled off of him, grasping and clawing at its bleeding eye. Billy shot up and ran straight to Steve, crouching down in front of him.

"Are you okay? Are you hurt?" Billy rushed, all too aware of the fleeting time they had to escape.

"My ankle," Steve groaned. Billy looked down at Steve's outstretched leg, his ankle red and inflamed.

"Fuck, okay." Billy ran through the options in his mind. This was going to dramatically impact their survival rate. Billy went to wrap an arm around Steve's back to help him up, when he noticed the odd look the other boy was giving him.

"What?" He asked impatiently.

"You came for me," he replied softly.

"Of course I did." Billy said simply. They didn't have time for this sappy bullshit. They could deal with their emotions once they were safe. Billy hooked his arm underneath Steves arms and pulled him to his feet. Steve stumbled a little, but otherwise stayed relatively steady on his feet, leaning heavily against Billy to take the pressure of the ankle.

"We have to hurry."

"Yeah no shit."

"No, they're everywhere. Sitting dormant. They're going to wake up if we don't hurry."

Billy started the walk, trying to ease Steve into it as quickly as possible. Steve hobbled messily by his side, walking almost two paces behind him despite the fact that Billy had hold of him. Billy guided them around the writhing monster, as close to the edge of the trees as they could get, and once they reached the entrance, Billy started up his run.

They didn't get very far however, before Steve's legs gave out completely, and he fell forwards. Had it not been for Billy's firm grip, he would have face planted straight into the dirt.

"Hey, hey, you're alright," Billy reassured him.

"No, no I'm not I'm not. I can't keep going. Leave me behind."

"Are you fucking kidding me? I risk my ass coming back in to save you and you try and play this hero schtick? Bullshit." Billy said, practically dragging Steve along with him.

"Just go without me! I'm a liability, you'll get yourself killed if you stay."

"Well, then I guess we're both gonna fucking die then."

"You're being ridiculous, Billy!" Steve cried.

"Harrington, I swear to god, shut the hell up. I'm not going to leave you to fucking die! How the hell would I explain that to the kids, huh?"

"Say you were too late or something, please, I can't watch you kill yourself trying to save me!"

Billy twisted his head to face him. His head was drooped in surrender.

"And I can't watch you die!"

A low growl rumbled through the trees. Fuck. Billy stuck his arm underneath Steve's knees, keeping his other arm locked across his back, and lifted him into his arms. Steve yelped in surprise and grabbed onto the back of Billy's shirt. Billy felt a hot flush creep up his cheek at the intimacy they had suddenly found themselves in. Billy didn't give it much thought, and he turned on his heels and ran. Steve bounced aggressively up and down in Billy's arms, making grunts and groans of protest. He heard a cacophony of voices ahead of him and sped up his pace. He ran straight out of the forest and almost directly into Dustin.

"AHHHHHH!" Dustin screamed and threw himself backwards. Billy stopped running, to glare at all the children.

"El, stop, it's just Billy and Steve," Mike said, and El dropped her hand.

"What the hell are you all standing around for? We're being chased, get to the fucking car."

The kids picked their feet up and they all sped to the car.

"Max," Billy said, getting his sisters attention. "Key's still in the ignition. I trust you."

Max nodded and got into the drivers seat. El got in next to her. Dustin was about to open the back door, when Billy blocked his way.

"Rest of you get in the boot," he ordered.

"Wha- Why?" Dustin complained.

"Cus Steve's fucking broken. D'you want him to die because you refused to sit in the boot?"

Dustin huffed and Billy watched as the boys all clambered into the boot of the car, squished together uncomfortably. Bill gently layed Steve down the length of the back seats, then got into the seat next to his head. Max started reversing the moment Billy closed the door.

"I can sit up just fine you know," Steve said. Billy pulled his head into his lap awkwardly.

"I don't care. You're an absolute fucking idiot, you know that?"

"What? No I'm not!"

"Uh, alright Mr self sacrifice. As if anyone in this car would leave you to fucking die out there."

"Not even you?" He asked quietly. Billy looked down at him, his eyes flitting imperceptably quickly to his lips, and then back up to his eyes.

"Especially not me."

That answer must have satisfied him, because he nodded and closed his eyes, settling comfortably in Billy's lap. Billy felt a swell of tenderness for him, and instead of shoving it down and cursing himself for it, he let it consume him like beams of sunlight bursting through his chest.

He felt a tap on his shoulder about ten minutes into the journey. A quick glance down at Steve told Billy he had fallen asleep. Dustin peaked his head through.

"Is he alright?"

"Yeah. His ankle's sprained but 'part from that. Yeah."

"He looks so peaceful. Bet this is killing you." He slapped Billy on the back and disappeared before Billy could demand to know what he meant.

The drive back was stressful for everyone in the car. Billy was anxious to get Steve's ankle seen to. Dustin was freaking out over Max's reckless driving, but Mike and Will kept shutting him up, so as not to wake up Steve, who had begun to drool onto Billy's jeans.

He wasn't sure it any of the Beholders were following them, but Billy was too scared to look. Ignorance is bliss and all that.

"Where are we supposed to go?" Max asked, pulling out of the lanes and onto the main Hawkins road. "We can't go to Hoppers, it's been destroyed."

Billy hadn't thought this far ahead.

"What about Mikes' place?" El said.

"Nancy and Johnathon are there, we could regroup," Max suggested.

Billy didn't feel like talking to either of them for the rest of the night, so he shook his head.

"We should really go to the hospital," he said.

"That's gonna look real fucking weird, all of us in there," Mike said.

"Alright fine. Max drive us to the hospital, I'll go in with Steve on my own. Then go to Wheeler's house and stay the fuck there."

Max made a sharp right turn and drove up the narrow, unlit road that led to the only hospital in Hawkins. Billy's anxiety skyrocketed the moment the large white building came into view. Max pulled into one of the many empty parking spaces. Billy shuffled himself out of the car, then carefully lifted Steve into his arms. He stirred a little, but otherwise remained asleep.

"Be careful," Max said to him.

"You too, roach," he smiled down at her and watched her pull out the space and leave. Thankful for the automatic doors, Billy hurried through to the hospital reception. The place was dead silent, save for the beeping of machines in some open rooms. A bored looking woman sat at the desk, flicking through a file.

"Um, excuse me?"

The woman grunted a reply, not looking up.

"My friend fell down the stairs, and I think he twisted his ankle." Billy said. She peered up over her glasses, examined the two boys in their unruly states, but didn't comment on it. Must suck working the night shift. She handed Billy a piece of paper and a pen, which he balanced on Steve's stomach.

"Fill these in. Take your friend up to room 415. I think there's a doctor there."

"Thank you."

Billy favoured the elevator over four flights of stairs, so he awkwardly crammed himself into a closing one with a nurse pushing a bed. He nodded at her. She gave Steve a concerned look but chose not to say anything.

Room 415 was the only one on the ward with its light on, and a young male doctor sat on the bed picking his nails, clearly, no work for him to do but not allowed to leave. He jumped up at the sight of Billy.

"Hello!" He said, chipper. Billy placed Steve on the bed, shoving the man to the side slightly.

"My friend fell down the stairs," he repeated the lie he told the receptionist. "I think his ankle's twisted."

The doctor leant down to examine it, poking and prodding at his foot with his index finger.

"Ah yes, I can feel the bones been dislocated. Did your friend pass out from the pain?"

"Um, yeah."

"Okay, I'm going to relocate the bone now, rather than wait until he wakes. He seems to be in a state of near comatose, so he hopefully shouldn't wake."

"Right."

The doctor relocated the bone quickly, and with a sickening crack. Steve flinched in his sleep and Billy's heart jumped.

"There, it wasn't such a bad break. It'll need to be supported for a couple of weeks, so I'll get him a brace. You hang tight, fill in the form."

Billy sat in the creaking plastic chair next to the bed and filled in all of Steve's information. For emergency contact, he put down his own home phone number, partly because he had no clue what Steve's parents number was. He was sure that Steve had health insurance, but it shouldn't make a dent in his daddy's bank if he did have to pay the medical bills.

The doctor came back and strapped an ugly gray brace to Steve's leg. He wasn't going to be running away from monsters any time soon.

"If he comes back in a fortnight, I'll examine the break and determine whether or not he needs the brace any longer."

"Okay, thanks."

"Would you like a drink or something? If you plan on staying." The doctor asked. Billy examined him. He couldn't be older than mid-twenties, a pretty, round face with watery blue eyes and a hooked nose. Billy might be interested in him if his heart hadn't led him somewhere else.

"Uh, yes, thank you." The doctor smiled and walked out.

Billy opened his eyes to the harsh white hospital lights. He couldn't remember falling asleep, but a look to the small table next to him saw a now ice-cold cup of coffee that the doctor must have brought him last night. Steve was sitting up in his bed flicking through the channels on the small tv that had been poorly hooked up to the foot of his bed.

"Good morning sleephead," Steve said.

"How are you sitting up?" Billy asked.

"A doctor came in and helped. Also told me what the hell I was doing here."

"Sorry, yeah, Dustin insisted on me taking you to the hospital so you wouldn't die of gangrene," Billy lied. Steve cocked an eyebrow.

"That was nice of him."

"Yeah."

Steve switched the tele off with a sigh, then patted his bed. Billy got off his chair, feeling the effects of it on his back, and sat on the edge of Steve's bed. In the unflattering light, Billy saw the extent of the damage that had been done on Steve. His face was littered with small black bruises and red cuts. His eyes were hooded and sleepy, dark rings underneath them. He looked awful. He looked beautiful. Billy hadn't seen himself yet, but he could imagine just how terrible he looked.

"How d'you feel?" Billy asked.

"I hurt everywhere. My ankle, not so much. Doctor prescribed me some painkillers. We can leave whenever we want, by the way."

"Oh, good."

"To be honest, I don't want to leave yet. That'd mean we'd have to face reality. And I like it here, in this hospital room bubble. Just us, no monsters."

"Just us," Billy repeated. They watched each other for a moment, Billy trying to gauge what Steve was thinking, the connotations behind his words. He figured, they had almost died last night, now would be as good a time as any, to be honest. Tell him everything, you might die today. Most of his brain rejected this idea, screaming at him not to do it. His father's words echoing in the back of his mind. But there was that small but mighty part of him that wanted Steve to know, wanted to tell him everything, consequences be damned.

"Last night--"

"I know, I was being stupid."

"No. Well, yeah, but that isn't what I wanted to say."

"Oh?"

"You scared the shit out of me. When the house collapsed and I couldn't find you, I thought the worst. It was the most scared I think I've ever felt."

"What-"

"No, let me finish, please."

Steve nodded silently, his eyes wide.

"Then I found you, and you were hurt, and you were telling me to leave you. I wanted to murder you myself, that you could even say that and think I actually would. You're all kinds of stupid, Harrington, but…" Billy trailed off, meeting Steve's doe eyes.

"What are you saying?" Steve asked, confused. Billy chuckled.

"Honestly, I don't know. I just needed you to know that I…Um, shit, uh. I care about you, alright? I fucking like you, I don't know."

Steve didn't say anything for a moment and Billy wondered, horrified if he had said too much. Steve was straight, so, so, straight. What the fuck was he doing?

"Come closer," Steve said before Billy could take back everything he had just said.

"What?"

"Come closer."

Billy shuffled closer to him, careful not to hurt his leg. They were now about a foot apart, and Billy wanted to cry. Steve was gonna slap him, tell him to get the fuck out, that he was disgusting, that he never wanted to see him again, that he-

Steve grabbed the front of Billy's shirt and pulled him closer, closing the gap between their lips.

**Author's Note:**

> At first, I was hesitant to publish this, as I am notorious for posting a couple of chapters of a story and then abandoning it. But I have a genuine passion and love for these characters and this story, so fingers crossed my monkey-brain doesn't decide it suddenly hates this story.  
I have the first five chapters planned out already, and the first three chapters are written, so I'll set a publishing schedule so that I can continue to plan and write.  
This story is not Beta'd and I edit it all myself. If anyone would be interested in Beta'ing, please let me know.  
My Tumblr for more Harringrove content is https://www.tumblr.com/blog/itsstevehairington


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